"Hormones"

Once again it's Sunday, and while being out and about during the weekends in a city inhabited by beautiful people, I saw 3 hot guys on the same day. One while having brunch in a café, another in the métro (probably a male model) and another while at an exhibition in a gallery. I've seen the hot guy from the café a couple of times around the neighbourhood and did fantasise about him a little bit.

All 3 guys reminded me greatly of my sexual craving as I've recently been feeling hornier than usual. I remember one of the girls in my social circle once said that when living in this attractive city, it's always about the "hormones" due to the amount of triggers. I couldn't agree more! As a young guy, I really need my healthy dose of sex. However, there's something about wanting something, and then having to wait for it to happen. Since accepting myself, I have indeed been progressively doing the necessary, but nothing seems to fall into place or come my way. I am really frustrated and depressed for I have been trying.

Well, even though I'm not even close to experiencing anything, I might as well at least enjoy the attractive sights while I can because I'm leaving soon. Due to the many issues that have happened to me over the past year, I will be going home to an unknown future. In addition, it took me a long way to open-up to my sexuality, and now to go home without having met anybody or properly experience anything is taking a toll on my personal confidence. A part of me still holds on to the possibility of things turning around for the better, but when you can't see the light, the journey indeed remains in the dark. Besides having to sort my life out, I am due to handle an intricate network of interwoven family problems and personal issues. Once again, the thought of remaining invisible and depress for the rest of the year is really dampening my spirit for life.