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Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Hot Spartan With A Silver Watch

For the past few weeks, I've been having quite a bit of fun at my gym sauna. Not too much if your head is already picturing an over-indulgent me in steam rooms, but just lucky enough if I am to paint a realistic picture of what happens to your average guy.

Having said that, I would also like to voice out that there were many times too when my cruise is unsuccessful due to rejection, "slow thinking men" or unfavourable market times. I would sit around and cruise for an hour, but yet I end up finishing myself off alone in the shower cubicle.

Cruising is equivalent to the art of fishing. Sometimes a fisherman goes to the watering hole and gets no fish. On some days, he gets a good fish, an attractive fish, one that he fancies and likes. Other days, he might have to sit patiently and wait for a long time before statistics, timing and market winds swing in his favour to give him the catch of the day, even if that particular catch might not necessarily be an ideal but doable one.

I know my posts these days seem to revolve around nothing but cruising at the gym. I understand that my journey and what constitutes my purpose of this journal is much bigger than these things, however I can't help but feel that even just by writing these little experiences down no matter how insignificant, could effectively help younger or inexperienced guys all over the world with their own journey.

When I first started out, there was no blog or resource that could offer me what I wanted written. There was no diary, no recount, no step by step guide to take me on a journey and to guide me on what to do, what are things to look out for, or what happens to one when one finds his way around sex and the gay world. I was as good as a clueless duckling. So here I am, doing it for the many people who are starting out.

Last month during one of my post work out sessions, I was just getting ready to enter the dry steam room when I caught sight of this hot 'sex on a stick' walk past me in the shower hallway. Although details of his face weren't exactly clear, but I knew immediately that I liked what I saw. My reptile instincts were immediately heightened and the siren in my mind blaring: "Hot guy. Hot guy. Hot guy!"

The tanned spartan with the fitness magazine worthy body in his forties was incredibly seasoned meat. He was wearing a silver watch on that arousing left wrist of his. Professionally, I could picture him in a suit, seated in some high profile board of directors meeting. For leisure, he works out and loves having fun. Particularly with easy plentiful young choices like me that just get magnetized toward his sex appeal and powerful love spell.

As usual, out of not wanting to be disappointed by the thought that this hot man is attainable, I gave into the old habit of marking him as straight and out of my league. 

"Don't you think it's ludicrous to think that he is even remotely into fun with guys when I'm sure that he is surrounded by women on a regular basis and that he can take any one of them he wants to bed?"

I carried on about my business, moving around alternatively between the dry and wet steam rooms, but still, I couldn't get the image of his body out of my mind. Then while at the dry sauna, I had the surprised honour of having him park himself next to me due to the lack of space in the cramped room.

It was heaven and torture. His towel was neatly draped over his crotch. His tanned back and biceps were filled with droplets of water, a combination of sauna steam and his manly sweat. God, I was sold to his hormones, pheromones, whatever. The silver watch on his forearm was also turning me on.

I can't explain it, but I want to make love to this man. Yes you heard me, make love. He oozes male attractiveness in every way. "
Oh what the hell! These kind of opportunities are hard to come by. Hot guy next to you?", I head myself say.

I decided to take a chance and stuck my toe out to subtly brush against his. With great surprising consolation in my heart, the man reciprocated and my blood soared to stratospheric heights on the inside. Jack fucking pot! The fact that there were other men in the sauna and I can't give into my desires was the part that drove me crazy.

He opened his towel slightly to reveal his beautiful uncircumcised penis waiting to be stroked. He's teasing us. Fuck! The sight of him naked with just that manly silver watch on his left wrist drove me wild. I repeated the same action by exposing my crotch to communicate his intention. I waited for the perfect timing when no one was around before I made my move. 

As soon as the last guy left, I knew I only had a few seconds or a minute max to communicate what I hoped would happen between us before the next intruder comes in. So I leaned into his right shoulder, caressed his thigh and inhaled his scent before planting a needy seductive kiss on his water droplet filled bicep. Christ, I could worship and devour it for dinner.

He reciprocated, lowered his head to kiss my forehead and our faces met. His masculine breath was intoxicating and we made out. It was ecstasy. As we kissed, I never took my eyes off the glass door for fear of someone entering unexpectedly.

The water droplets at the back of his shoulder blade was too distracting underneath the dimly lit space. So I kissed and ran my tongue and fingers all over them. God he tasted so good. It came to a point where I don't even know if it was meant to turn him on or turn me on because I was having the time of my life.

After fiddling with each other's penis' for a while, another man suddenly enters the room and all shenanigans had to come to a complete halt. I tried getting him to come out with me so that we can both enjoy the proper privacy offered by a shower cubicle but he seemed reluctant. 

So I had to lure him to the wet sauna where the steam could provide us with some extra cover while I bought more time into convincing him to take a shower with me. In there, we continued to touch, feel and kiss each other until in comes another guy who crashed our fun. Although I recognised the newcomer as another cruiser I wasn't interested in, but still I didn't feel comfortable doing things in front of him.

However Mr. Hot Spartan With A Silver Watch didn't seem to mind that another cruiser was in the sauna and continued to touch and kiss me openly in front of the other guy. Sheesh, I know what the other guy is but can we at least do it in privacy? This isn't some free circus show.

I decided to walk out in hopes that he will follow me to a shower cubicle. I can't remember much, but I remember thinking to myself that I hope I didn't regret taking the stupid risk of walking out of my hot guy. We could have lost him already.

It took a while as he was being difficult in his dilly-dallying, but finally I managed to get him to enter my shower cubicle at the end of the corridor. I was a very very happy man. With our towels hung up, I could now enjoy him fully and completely in the comfort and privacy of an enclosed space. The lighting accentuated his six pack abs, military general guns and hoplite chest.

In there, we touched, made out and blew each other good under the running water. Deep throating him never felt so hot. His uncircumcised penis was a beautiful one, and just like mine, I played with his foreskin to my heart's desire. However I had to be extra careful as their helmets are overly-sensitive.

His kisses and caressing techniques were very arousing, especially with that silver watch on his masculine wrist. Every time he hugs me and pushes me close to him, I feel so wanted by my man. Christ, this man must be an excellent lover in bed! I'm so jealous of his wife, his sex partners, his boyfriend, whatever.

In the end, he ejaculated in my mouth and indulged me after in my own release by embracing me hard under the showers as I rode out my own orgasm. As we cleaned ourselves up, we couldn't stop smiling at each other. I contemplated asking for his number in hopes of taking this encounter beyond these walls, but wanted to respect the whole anonymity policy of what happens in the sauna, stays in the sauna so I didn't.

As he was about to leave, I squeezed his bicep and gave a few pats as a sign of thanks. He reciprocated by squeezing me back and before he left, I whispered into his ear: "Thank you. Nice body, nice dick by the way." He grinned and pulled my face towards his lips for a playful kiss. "You too", was his reply and he left.

While showering on my own, I replayed the entire scene in my head and jerked myself to orgasm for the second time. I silently thanked the universe for letting such a hot guy play with me. For I am pretty sure that in the real world outside these walls, he would have been out of my league.

After that first encounter, I never saw or bumped into him for a long time. However I often fantasise about him. So much so that I sometimes have to jerk myself off to that particular shower memory of us together. 

A few days ago I bumped into him, once outside the gym area where our shoulders physically knocked against one another while walking past, the second time in the wet sauna where he was wearing the same silver watch. Remembering how nice it was to have fun with him, he was right at the top of my agenda. The moment we were alone, I immediately parked myself shamelessly next to him and rubbed my leg up against his. Whether or not if he recognizes me as the guy from the first time, I have no idea. But what I knew for sure was that we were fiddling and teasing each other with our toes. God, that was fun but frustrating. 

Sometimes his toes are on top of mine, sometimes mine on top of his. My favourite part is when he lightly presses his feet above mine with firm pressure and seduction. The feeling of being dominated, or having his weight on top of me was sending arousing electricity all the way to my growing erection. I invited him again to go to a shower cubicle but he chuckled and shook his head as he looked into his watch. 

Damn, why is he being difficult again. Does it turn him on more if we played in the sauna with the possibility of being caught? Is that what it is? Or is he afraid that someone would see the two of us entering the same shower cubicle? What's his deal? 

After a while, he left to take a proper shower and I gave up my pursuit. As I wandered back out to the locker room to check my phone, I saw him on the other locker section dressed immaculately in a green shirt and khakis after his shower, packing his bag.

I paced back and forth in my locker section wrapped in my wet towel, contemplating if I am in anyway in a position to ask him for his contact. I really would like for us to be in touch so that we might be able to take this further, even if it's purely sexual or discreet.

After much doubt and before he leaves, I quickly made a decision in my head that I am tired of waiting around and would like to be the active guy with balls. I will not be the person who just sits around waiting for some business deal or someone to notice me when I would have made a psychological impression just by walking up to him. Even if things don't work out, the image of me walking up to him will be seared into his memory.

So in the presence of another nice-looking gay gym member whom I've been trying to cruise but have snubbed me contemptuously for weeks occupying the locker next to my target, I shamelessly walked up to my man and said hi. The entire exchange was kinda weird because I've never actually had a proper conversation with this man, other than what was whispered in the shower cubicle.

    "Hey, haven't seen you around for a while."
    "Yeah, I've got a meeting. I gotta go," he said while packing his things.
    "Can I get your number?" I said quietly with a smirk.

There was a ludicrous smile on his face which seemed to suggest either he is entertained by my courage to walk up to him and pull this off, or laughing at me on the inside, thinking who does this naive guy think he is to ask me for my number?'

    "Nah. I've got a meeting now. Maybe next time," he says.
    "Okay," I smiled and gracefully walked back towards the shower halls, knowing full well that that will not be the last I'll see of him. Of course the other gay gym member who snubs me saw the whole thing along with my walk of shame and rejection.

But you know what, I didn't care, not one bit. Because the fulfillment and happiness in my heart for having taken a risk overwhelms whatever bruised ego one might experience. I was very proud of myself for being a man about the whole thing, a man who is not afraid to take risks and who is not afraid to ask and move on.


That was supposed to be the end of the story, however a few days later while working out near the dumbbell area, the nice-looking gay guy who snubs me was also seen doing his training alone. His existence didn't affect me at all, until suddenlythe hot spartan with the silver watch just appeared out of no where, and was seen chatting with the nice-looking gay guy. In fact, they were working out together like new gym acquaintances. 

Initially I avoided all forms of eye-contact and acknowledgement with my man because after my courageous approach with him the other day in the locker room, I didn't want to come on as somebody desperate. So I decided to leave him alone. 

But later on it sunk in that I'm actually feeling embarrassed and am staying clear of the area because I felt awkward. 

Jesus. Since when do they talk to each other?! Am I missing something? Did something happen when I was not around? Or perhaps something in between that I didn't get a notice? Damn it, I shouldn't have walked up to him and asked him for his number in front of the other guy!

I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I was anxious and could no longer focus on my work out. I was heavily affected and felt very conscious of myself. Perhaps I am shy and embarrassed that the hot spartan I desire is now seen to have formed some sort of new relationship with the guy who snubs me? On one hand, I know it's jealousy, but on the other, I can't really put my finger on why exactly am I feeling hurt over a social situation that just happen to happen?

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

The Time I Refused To Give Up Cruising The Sauna

This was supposed to be a post about how I failed miserably at my hunt today for a nice-looking prey at the gym sauna to blow off some post-work out hormones together in the shower. Fortunately by the grace of the universe, I emerged once again victorious in my conquest and I'm not sure if it's my impractical sense of stubbornness or unwillingness to give up that I myself am surprised at the outcome of how things turned out this evening.

I think it must have been a good forty-five minutes or more that I have been loitering around the shower hallways and sitting around in the saunas, alternating between the dry and the wet. I normally would cut my time short and just settle for a personal jerk-off in the shower when I don't seem to be in luck. Twenty minutes or less I believe is the grace period I've given myself.

However today, for some reason I just didn't feel like giving up. In addition, I had time to kill so I thought maybe I'm just going to put in more effort and patience today. After all, the art of fishing requires a strong heart made out of perseverance and patience.

First I was in the wet sauna where I noticed this rather jacked guy. He was no male model, but his physique suggests that he could be an agreeable candidate to procreate with had he been the last man on Earth. He was seated with his towel tightly wrapped around his waist, aloof and quietly kept to his corner and space. Let's call him A.

I tried a few cruising games and eye-contact, however there were clearly no signs or clues from him that told me he was cruising. So I decided to mark the man a heterosexual and leave him alone. Well M, if he was gay or even bi-curious, wouldn't he be more open or active about the cruising like us? Look at our towels and the way we hunt! The dude's probably a heterosexual Christian, leave him alone.

It wasn't until about twenty minutes into my loitering and moving around that I realised A was also cruising for prospects too. He and I kept crossing paths with each other, it's just that he wasn't interested in me. Whenever I deliberately shoot him some eye-contact, he ignores me. Surprise M! You can fuck your towel theory goodbye. So much for cruising wisdom.

I've tried time and again to get his attention, but he walks away every time I go near him. Even though I try not to take it personally, but I can't help but still feel a small stab in the thigh when someone rejects me. All kinds of questions start coming up. Is it me? Am I not masculine enough? Am I not attractive enough? Is it my chest? Is it my arms? Is it the energy?

No no no. Stop it. Don't go there. It's fine M, he cruises his own meat. You cruise for yours. I think my ego, no matter how much I say I don't want to be ruled by it, was a little bruised. And so I made the decision to up my game where I would constantly hover around his orbit, that way, my presence would either annoy him, weigh him down, turn him off, or make it harder for him to cruise other guys. Oh baby, if you're going to have fun with some other guy, you're going to have to let me catch you.

This went on for a while until a few other hotter guys came along. There was B whom I tried initiating subtle physical contact with my toes but he pulled away. C, a young hot college kid with very attractive chest and abs who sat far away in his own dark corner without unwrapping anything. Christ, what I wouldn't give now to plunge my face into that upper chest!

D, another guy with amazing chest and abs who although asked me politely if he could add more water into the charcoal but didn't seem to respond to my compliment about his body. And E from the dry sauna, a guy with an athletic body worthy of a badminton player who moved his toes away when I tried to initiate contact and also kept his towel tightly wrapped.

For some reason, I felt kinda invisible today. In fact, what strengthened my sense of observation was that everybody who walks into the sauna I am in, tend to move or sit far away from me. Is it me? What kind of energy am I emanating that is causing people to stay clear? And by the way, what's up with people being so conservative today? Did they not get the lose-towel-show-your-crotch memo? Or does everybody want to sit around and expect to be pursued these days?

Somewhere between these guys and my tendency to complicate emotions, I wanted to give up. I told myself that I was going to come home tonight and write an article about my unsuccessful attempt at cruising because I felt that writing about failures can sometimes inspire or motivate others even more. It would allow those who think that I am having fun all the time to see that I too go through unsuccessful frustration. When a platform is dedicated to just documenting the success stories, it might not be as powerful or as truthfully real as the one that would show the world its vulnerability, disappointments and thoughts on failures.

Before giving up for real, I told myself I was just kidding and that I will try at least one more time. I will walk out of this gym having had a shower with someone. I even sat in the sauna and visualised myself having fun with someone. I know I might be crazy, but I refused to believe it won't happen and that it won't come! I don't believe it.

Within a couple of seconds, the taller guy from my first encounter in this gym walked in. Although I did have fun with him again for the second time a couple of days ago, I wanted to try another guy today. Through the glass doors, I could see A still pacing restlessly up and down the corridors outside. Perhaps nobody here was good enough for him?

I left the wet sauna and went back into the dry steam room to see if anybody new has entered. However, only E was still present in the same location, same towel wrap. I went in and deliberately parked myself extra close to him. God, I want to taste those chest and abs. Oh those strong arms.

At this point, one might have labelled him straight and uninterested after the previous attempts in sexual courtship. But for some reason, my instincts were telling me very strongly that there is something "not completely straight" about this guy. 

E still didn't respond promisingly to my proximity and second subtle toe approach. Sheesh, is this guy fucking clueless, handicapped or straight? 

I was tired of the no response, so I stood up, readjusted my towel in preparation to leave. As I opened the door, I felt something touch my feet from behind and I turned to see E retracting from what seemed like a stretch. What was that?! I swear something touched our feet! 

I couldn't gauge if it was my imagination after all the mind games or was it really E who made the initiative. In my heart, I already knew the answer, but my mind was telling me not to trust it. Why now after the exhaustive lengths I went to to get your attention? Could he just be shy? Or maybe he's just a little slow when it comes to cruising?

Without wanting to look obvious in case I was wrong, I walked out and decided that if it really was him, I'll come back later. Within two or three minutes, I was back and seated closely next to E. A was also now present in the sauna and was probably aware of what is going on. 

As soon as he left, presumably because I was now in the room, I pressed my right knee and leg against E's left. He doesn't seem as elated as I am for winning the lottery, but he responded. He reached for my crotch and I for his. I was already hard and ready. Hallelujah, thank the Lord for the score!

Without wasting any more time, he asked if I would like to shower and I said yes. He signaled for us to head to the same shower cubicle where I last had my fun. Jeez, is this like the golden cubicle for all male members to have their surreptitious homoerotic showers?

The moment the water started running and the door closed, I went after him like I haven't eaten in ten days and am starved for an athletic man's body. He started playing with my penis as I worshipped every part of his body that I love with my mouth and tongue. I enjoyed myself greatly in our shower, capitalising on the prior lascivious thoughts I've long had the moment I saw him. He smells amazing which is a major turn on.

Gradually, I moved my way down south and ended up giving him a nice blowjob. His penis was manageable which made my act easier to administer and enjoyable. I flicked my tongue all over his scrotum, perineum and took his balls into my mouth. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the whole process, to the extend where he was on his toes with one leg up and was trying to balance himself while caressing me.

After the blowjob, he reached for the body shower and lubricated our penis. He rubbed them together in circular motion and also pushed our bodies together so as to stimulate our penile helmets further against each other's bodies. He continued to rub and push against me by putting his tool in between my thighs and start moving vigorously. We held each other in embrace as I prepared him for his finish. He shuddered while pinning me closely to him, I wasn't sure if that was his ejaculation but I let him finish. I shot him a thumbs up and he nodded his head.

When he was done, I jerked myself off to climax, using him, his proximity and his masculine body as ammunition. I came satisfyingly good and was smirking all the way. As we were cleaning up, he twisted his dick and inspected the frenulum under the light. Wondering if everything was okay, I shot him another thumbs up asking if he was all right.

He shook his head and pointed directly to my dick with one index finger, and then proceeded to use his other index finger, with both fingers now pointing parallelly upward to create an invisible gap, gesticulating the common sign society would invoke as if to measure the length of a fish or the length of something.

I smiled pleasingly knowing what he was trying to say. I definitely do not belong in the extra large category, but I am not small either. Although he wasn't big, but I wonder if our penile size really do determine our confidence as men?

After some slight washing up, I patted his shoulder as a sign of gratitude and opened the door slightly to peep. Ensuring that the coast was clear, I then darted out and into another cubicle, leaving him to shower on his own.

On my way home, I couldn't help but wonder and marvel at the sequence of events that had happened. I replayed everything in my head and analysed how I went from feeling invisible to being rewarded. Was I rewarded because I didn't give up? Because I was stubborn or because I persevered? 

But what I learnt from this experience is that timing and patience is a great factor in determining your success at catching a fish. I guess I had time to kill. The other thing to take note is that  conservative towel wrapping styles are never what they seem. For their wearers are great gamers and pretenders, as are all men.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Brief Fun In A Frosted Glass Cubicle

Two days ago, after my work out at another branch of my gym, I decided to check out their saunas again to see if this one has any potential cruising activities. My three-way shower at the home base gym last week has definitely reinstated my curiosity and sense of itch in matters pertaining to sauna affairs.

So as I entered the wet sauna, there was a man lying on the bench with his towel precariously draped over his groin. His eyes were serenely closed and the candidate didn't seem to be affected by my entrance. I couldn't gauge if he too was on "courtship display" or just purely enjoying the steam room.

Within five minutes, another shorter guy entered the wet sauna and adjusted his seating position in a way that it advertises conspicuously that he was up for grabs. However, I wasn't attracted to him so I remained still.

After about forty-five seconds, I adjourned to the vacant dry sauna next door where within minutes, the shorter guy came in too. So this back and forth between the wet and dry sauna went on for about fifteen minutes until I decided I no longer wanted to wait any longer for someone I like to turn up. Where are all the damn hot guys? Oh well, I guess sometimes you catch a fish, sometimes you don't.

The thing I've come to realise about cruising is how much time it consumes when you're not in luck, in the right place or at the right time. The constant waiting and anticipation to see if an attractive fish of your fancy happens to respond to your hook does consume a lot of time and energy which could otherwise be put to better use. 

So whenever I feel I've had enough with the waiting around, I would just head to a cubicle to shower and jerk myself off to get rid of the built-up sexual energy that has me thinking with my libido as opposed to my human mind. Whether it was the adrenaline, the sexually charged air, or the hormones after all the work out, this is the only effective plan I've devised in order to bring myself not to care about how much fun other guys could have, would have or will have. "Whatever happens in the sauna after you're freshly cleaned and showered up is no longer any of your business", I hear myself say.

I was showering in one of the end cubicles that bordered a solid wall on my left when coincidentally, someone entered the cubicle next to my right. The thin partition between us was heavily frosted glass, of which you can slightly see the shadow and movement of the other person. The twenty centimeter ground to ankle gap on partition allows you to see the reflective movement, shadow and gushing water emanating from your neighbour. In other words, the perfect bathroom design fit for cruising in an all male shower room.

Being the playful and curious person that I am, I thought if I noticed the ground, I'm sure my neighbour does too. So I casually placed my feet on the technically invisible frontier between our cubicles, with only one toe having invaded illegally into his part of the floor space, like one would do at a Franco-Belgian border within the European Union.

I tried it out of curiosity, and surprisingly my neighbour responded with his own foot. It didn't take long before our foot was rubbing and caressing off each other as an invitation. I bent down, put my hands between the gap and waved subtly for him to come over. Could he be that same guy from the sauna we weren't into?

I turned off my shower, unlocked my door and waited. As he swiftly glided into my cubicle, I noticed that he was indeed the same shorter guy in the wet sauna earlier that I wasn't attracted to. But I thought: "Oh well, we can't all get the fish we want all the time. A man's body is still a man's body, let's just try and enjoy the moment and the opportunity which has been presented to us."

So nothing much happened in the cubicle except for a couple of blowjobs, kissing and caressing under the running water. Within five minutes, I suggested for us to jerk to climax because I got bored and wanted to finish things off. I came and asked if he did, but he gave me some confusing signals for which I don't know if it's a yes or a no. After some minor cleaning up, I opened the door slightly and made sure the coast is clear before telling him it's safe to exit. He left and I continued showering, reflecting on what just happened and also brainstormed on more ideas as to what I can write on this journal to help more people.

Monday, 20 July 2015

My Three-Way Shower At The Gym Today

I know I'm supposed to be working on the articles pertaining to my unfinished adventures in Australia from last year, but something interesting happened to me at the gym today that I just couldn't pass up on the opportunity to write this down in hopes that it will continue to guide gay and bisexual novices everywhere around the world, particularly for those who live in nations where homosexuality is still not an open book.

I've recently re-joined a gym again. I was a little sick of not doing anything that would contribute to the expansion of my physical wealth. So I took concrete action so to speak towards investing in a healthier and more attractive body. I would use the weights and the machines, and sometimes after I go for a swim.

The gym is thrilling place to be. I'm not sure if it's the adrenaline, the hormones or the sexual energy in the air, but I'm always in a state of constant arousal when I'm there. Especially when I'm in the male locker room or the sauna. You have no idea how many times I have turned to the sacred gay apps to see if I might get lucky, but unfortunately nobody in the gym was either gay nor on Grindr or Hornet. Oh come on! You don't expect me to believe that there is not a single guy here in the gym that might be open to a little man on man?

My gym has a dry and a wet sauna, both small and functional without much space to move around. May I point out that this is a proper sauna at a fitness centre where one uses it as a real sauna, and nothing like the last two gay bath houses I visited years ago in London where the true purpose of the facility is for you to cruise other guys.

Every time after a good work out, I always look forward to using the sauna. For some reason, I adore the wet one. There is something about the steam, the heat and the arousing moisture on your sweaty wet skin in a dimly lit room that seem to accentuate everybody's body parts. A guy's biceps, shoulder and chest becomes insanely more appetizing than it really is when in there.

For weeks, on top of wanting to get my muscles to relax when using the sauna, I've also been on constant high alert in case any potential gay or bisexual guy comes along. However after many visits, nothing hopeful ever materializes. Maybe there really is no gay nonsense in this gym?

But you know, being the person that I am, I never give up and refused to believe that my fantasy of a little gym fun would never come through. During those days where I couldn't find anything, I would visualize a time and know affirmatively in my heart that one day, just one day, someone will be in here with me and I will score! I know it in my heart. Call it the Law of Attraction, call it hopeful determination, I was fired up.

So you can imagine my elation when my lucky day came to fruition today! After a nice cool down swim at the gymnasium pool, I was feeling itchy and went to my locker to retrieve my phone to check on my respective "fishing nets". Grindr, nothing. Jack'd, nothing. Hornet, nothing. Blued, nothing. Planet Romeo, nothing. Aargh!

I have been longing hungrily for a man's naked body against mine for some time now, but because nothing ever came up, I knock that thought out of my head and tried to move on to my usual routine.

However, being the persistent guy that I am, I will not rest until I am sure to have given every last bit of effort. So I walked into the dry sauna with the intention to see if anybody attractive was there. There was a man, but nothing about him seems to suggest that he is anything other than a regular gym member.

So after my forty second countdown was up, I walked out and thrillingly let myself into the wet sauna next door. In there, there were two guys seated closely side by side. One shorter and the other taller. As soon as I walked in, I liked what I saw and attempted some eye-contact with the tall guy which come to think of it, wasn't very useful at all in a dimly lit space covered in steam.

Oh yes! Good meat detected. Good meat detected! I grin like an evil detective who is about to incriminate an undercover culprit who may or may not be gay. Now let's see if it responds to this little cruising game gay men play.

I parked myself closely on the right of the taller guy and ignorantly made a note in my head to ignore the shorter guy on the other side as some regular gym member without giving it any further thought. I made sure that my towel was loosely draped over my thigh, exposing some "weak points" so that one might get the idea.

The sauna door wasn't closed properly after my entrance, leaving a small gap. The taller guy stretched his hands out to shut it close and I took the opportunity to establish some form of exchange.

"Sorry", I apologised sincerely, but every part of my being is smiling devilishly in the dark and eyeing this guy like a North Korean soldier inspecting the legendary DMZ for weak points. How are we going to break him? I swear even if he is not gay, I will introduce him to the pleasures of man on man fun.

"It's okay", he responded subtly. Oh, a response! Check! I guess there's hope. I leaned back and visually molested his entire body with my eyes from the side and from his back, with or without his awareness I don't know. Oh baby, look at those chest, I want to bury my face in it and throw in some oral torment! Those arms. God, I'm hungry.

My blood boiled on top of the temperature in that room and I felt my hard erection in full height. I watched him closely to see if he would casually turn his head to look at me. It seemed like he did, it seemed like he didn't. Shit, I can't gauge.

Okay, what next? Let's check for clues. All right, his towel too seems to be a little too loosely draped over his crotch to be considered appropriate ain't it? Kinda like us. Look! It's not even wrapped around his ass. But I can't see if he is wearing anything!  

Even though the physical signs at that point didn't seem to be in my favour, but you know what, primal energy never lies and my instincts were telling me to trust this sexually charged energy I'm getting from him or the room.

Recalling scenes of my visit to the gay bath house in London years ago, I remembered that if a man wants to be cruised or would like to show signs that he is "available" for fun or fondling, he would sit in a position where his legs would be wide open and his crotch exposed with the towel precariously draped over the thigh, like one of those roman sculpture or paintings where the fabric is always barely positioned to cover the essential part while leaving the rest unashamed to the eye.

Suddenly, the shorter guy stood up and left the sauna. Well it's about fucking time the bishop gets eliminated to clear a path to the King. Thinking that I'll get to enjoy some alone time with the tall guy, he too stood up re-wrapped the towel around his ass, as if to deliberately show that he was wearing nothing and walked out, presumably headed to either the dry sauna or the shower cubicles next door. Not wearing anything underneath the towel, bingo! Checked!

I too waited for another forty seconds before I walked myself out with the intention of going to the dry sauna to see if anything is happening. As I exited, I sensed that something was off as the tall guy just stood next to the entrance of the dry sauna without going in. It was as if he was waiting for someone or something. My instincts were now telling me that he could also be cruising for something, but maybe not with me.

I let myself into the dry sauna and waited. After about thirty seconds, the shorter guy from before appeared out of no where on the outside, walked past the dry sauna glass door and entered the wet sauna down the hall. Then after a while, the tall guy followed suit in the same direction. I know this because every time the sauna door opens, it makes a sound. Fuck! Something is not right. Is the other guy involved too?

Remember kids, trailing after someone like an undercover cop eyeing a criminal from a distance is one of the tell tale signs of active cruising. I have to get myself back into the wet sauna! The taller guy is clearly cruising, but I don't know about the shorter guy. He seemed too straight to be gay.

I entered the wet sauna again and felt a slight awkward energy in the room. Fuck yes boys, it's me again! I'm here for the taller guy. I positioned myself closely again, this time to the left of my targeted candidate while the shorter guy on his right. 

This time, I made sure I was more clear on my position. So I unwrapped the towel from my body, sat butt naked on the sauna bench and loosely draped the towel over my crotch exactly like him. It seemed like he got the message and was turning his head slightly to look in my direction, but never directly into my eyes. I caressed my own right thigh with my right hand and also rubbed my foot in an ironing motion on the floor as I contracted my toes restlessly. 

The purpose of this behaviour is to attract the attention of the other party, to the point that it is overtly distracting. If your target is also after the same desire, he will notice and show signs of awareness to your movement. 

The taller guy then moves his foot closer to me, I reciprocated with mine. Within a few seconds, our legs casually brushed against each other subtly. Sweet Jesus Mother of God, yes yes yes! This is it! I won the Jackpot!

I deliberately press my leg against his and then he reached out his left hand to caress my right thigh. We started to caress each other in the dark, I his chest and him my penis. He looked at me with a pleasant look of a business deal gone right. We continued this foreplay on the sauna bench until an African guy suddenly walks in and everything came to an abrupt halt. The shorter guy leaves.

Gradually one by one, the taller guy and me took turns to leave the wet sauna in search of some privacy in the vacant dry sauna next door. It was like we both knew what to do without having to communicate with each other.

As I entered the dry sauna, the shorter guy was once again seated next to the taller guy. Why the fuck is he always around and in the way? Give us some privacy!

It didn't take me long before I realised that while the taller guy was fondling me with his left hand, his other hand was also doing the same to his partner on the right. What the fuck? The shorter guy is in this too? Him? Great! Now we all have to share. 

Suddenly, I didn't feel so special anymore. Jesus, get over yourself M! It's a fucking sauna, not the Gay Bachelor finale. The taller guy being the more attractive one, was at the centre of attention between me and the other shorter guy.

"Do you guys want to go take shower?", asked the taller guy. 
"Yeah sure, let's go", I said. 
"What? Are you serious? The three of us?", the shorter guy asked confusingly like he has never done it before. 
"Yeah", responded the taller guy.
"Let's go", I said to the two of them like we're in this together.

The taller guy found us a corner cubicle right at the end of the shower lanes and in went the three of us. One of them turned on the shower and warm water started to rain. It was erotic, thrilling, exciting and everything I'd hope a shower with two other naked guys would be.

Things started off with a little neck and earlobe kissing that was mostly concentrated on the taller guy. I embraced him hard like I've never hugged a man's naked body in two decades and went straight for his nipple. I flickered my tongue around it and he moaned. He guided my chin up to his face and he kissed me passionately, not before giving me that lascivious look. Oh my God! He kisses good! Jesus, his lips and that stubble. And he smells good too.

It didn't take me long before I decided to be fair to the shorter guy and made sure he had fun too. So I decided to explore the chest of the smaller guy with my mouth and it was surprisingly hard and firm. I have to admit that he does have a nicer body compared to the taller guy. I kissed him on the lips and his reciprocal style was equally great. Jesus, two great kissers! I'm a lucky guy today. 

The taller guy then decided to pull the two of our faces to his and before I knew it, I was experiencing my very first three way kiss which I didn't even think was possible. You might think one could only kiss one person at a time, but let me tell you, having two lips and tongues pressed against mine was one of the most erotic things I will look forward to doing again.

For the next fifteen minutes, we alternated from jerking each other off to blowing one another, all done between intervals of passionate kisses and nipple play. Yes yes, kiss me again baby! I'm a sucker for a good kiss.

"Shall we all come?", suggested the taller guy.
"Sure", I said and started to jerk myself off. We held on to each other like rugby team mates and the three of us jerked ourselves off to climax. The interesting realisation I had from my perspective is that it wasn't their penises nor cute faces that fueled my ejaculation, but more of the loving warm sensation that I was intimately in the embrace of two naked men and two individually masculine energies that sent me off the edge. 

I couldn't remember in vivid detail who came first despite all the vibration and shaking, but I was the last. After I came, I looked up at the two feeling a little shy that they were so patient to let me finish without letting go of the embrace even though they themselves were done.

"Did you come? And you?", I asked just to make sure. They both nodded their heads and gave me a thumbs up. We washed our dicks before discussing our exit. During the entire time that we were in the cubicle, we could hear other gym members and janitors. 

When the coast is clear, the taller guy was the first to leave, followed by the shorter guy, effectively surrendering the cubicle to me so I could have a proper shower and clean up for which I couldn't stop grinning in satisfaction and happiness at the fact that the man on man fun I so determinedly wanted came true.

Before going back to the common locker rooms outside, I wondered what kind of card should I play when I see them? Does the number one whatever-happens-in-the-sauna-stays-in-the-sauna rule of no numbers, no names and no acknowledgment apply in this encounter? Dude, stop over-thinking things and just act normal!

As I went back out, I realised the shorter guy was using the locker right next to mine. He was my neighbour. I was 107 and he was 110 on the same row. What a coincidence! I walked over and subtly gave him a little nod. He smiled and I smiled too. That was nice.

"You're 110? What a coincidence. I'm right next to you", I uttered with a smile. And he smiled in return.

The taller guy however on the other hand, maintained a very cold and distant position back at the locker room. I halfheartedly expected him to at least nod his head or smile but I think he wanted the anonymity, and so I respected the distance. I was blow drying my hair when I felt a firm tap on my shoulder and saw the reflection of the shorter guy walked out via my mirror. Ah, that must have been him! Did he wanted something or was that a goodbye tap?

Not long after, the taller guy walked out without as much as look back and I took a few more minutes to finish up. When I finally went out, they were both gone. So I guess the anonymity rule does apply today. But I am confident that this will not be the last of them I'll see.

Sunday, 14 June 2015

Can You Believe It's June?

Hey there, it's been a while. I just checked the date of my last published post and it was dated for January 2015, while we are already in June. I can't help but wonder why does time crawl when we're in school, but flies like a bullet right after you pass the twenty mark and you're still way behind a lot of people who have developed by leaps and bounds into the powerful individual that they are.

I just wanted to apologise to the loyal readers for my absence. Back in January, I was still working on all the unfinished stories I'd like to tell. But for some reason, I couldn't bear to look at my journal anymore. Basically, I was just at a point where I couldn't think about Gay and Invisible anymore. I would open the writing window and close it after five minutes or a couple of sentences. This happened repeatedly for a few weeks before I completely gave up. I think I might have hit my limit, my limit in the sense that I was a kinda tired, unmotivated and uninspired. 

I do still have a couple of stories up my sleeve, and that my adventures from the last year has yet to reach its denouement properly in writing although everything took place prior to November.

For the past three years I have been diligently putting in the effort on this journal with the motivation and intention of wanting to document feelings and help people, especially those who are still struggling with themselves or perhaps live in places where they are not being given the chance to live in truth, to practice courage and to stand tall in freedom. Using myself as a guinea pig, I really wanted to take people on a real journey. One actually lived and experienced by many guys that no paragraph could actually describe. 

I sometimes wonder what would happen to the story on this journal if I suddenly left this world abruptly. Will I get to tie up lose ends? Close my story in great optimism to motivate future generations so that they too will know without a shadow of a doubt that they too do stand a chance at finding great contentment as a human being? Or will it all hang at the mercy of a pessimistic hook to highlight the realities of what life could be?

Anyway, whatever the outcome will be, I will try and finish up the stories and persevere as hard as I see fit. Thank you so much sincerely for your love and support, and for checking in on this journal.