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Friday, 16 March 2012

So He Was Gay?

After the interesting discussion I had over dinnerI came home and asked my current house mate and confidant if she thought charm and personality was more important than physical appeal. She proceeded to tell me that although she always had a clear idea of her ideal man, but she ends up going out and having relationships with guys who are not at all her physical type. She falls for them due to their charm, something in which is known as the "je ne sais quoi"Apparently a gorgeous guy without the je ne sais quoi is just beautiful but boring.

She stated that men are definitely more visual than women. I chuckled and responded while that is indeed a very true fact, but she was no exception in regard to her wandering eyes during one of our outings.

She: [smiling] 
"Oh no! Haha! That was because I was just curious if he was a homosexual."

"What! What do you mean he's a homosexual?" 
"How do you know?"

"I don't know. It just comes! I feel it."

Me: [disbelief]
"But... but he was alone with that girl, holding her hand and kissing it..."

"Hey... You know that doesn't prove anything." 
"It doesn't mean that they're a couple. They could very well be just best friends."

[In my head]
Fuck, damn it. He was amazingly cute and to think throughout lunch, I couldn't stop fantasising about making out with him. 

As much as I hate to trust girls who think they know, her instincts have always been to a certain extend very accurate. It's true that I myself enjoy touching and flirting with girls all the time in public like there wasn't a single gay cell in me. Even though I haven't came out to her, but she could literally smell that I was having problems with my sexuality at one point.

The thought of him being gay did cross my mind due to his good-looks, impeccable dressing and body language. But being a person with an undeveloped gaydar, I couldn't help but disregard it as one of my usual obsessive wishful thinking, whereby every cute guy that comes into my radius might possibly be gay "for my amusement" when they are evidently straight. In addition, I live in a city of gorgeous metrosexual men, a challenging circumstance that inevitably clouds judgement.

Man, that dude was amazingly cute and I'm feeling kinda disappointed for having missed an opportunity. Although he could have very well been gay and out of my league, or straight and a total embarrassment for me, but at least I wouldn't punch myself now for not paying more attention. How could I have missed the signs? Damn it. damn it!

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