Antidepressants and a Lowered Sex Drive

A few days ago, it was my second visit to the shrink's office. I started seeing him at my family's insistence because it really was time to get help and I desperately wanted to move on with my life. I've been putting this off because I didn't see how it could help me. But I'm tired of being stagnant and depressed. I want to overcome my own subconscious.

Moments before the appointment, I'm never usually myself because I'm scared and nervous as hell. I mean how do you open up an emotional box of chaos containing everything that you are, in an enclosed room to a complete stranger? I find that so hard to do.

During my first visit, he did a test and confirmed that I am indeed depressed and needed to be on antidepressants. My logical thought was how can a simple pill like Prozac and Frisium change what I'm feeling? It doesn't make sense. The issues that I'm going through are internal and the root of the problem is still going to be there until I find a way to resolve it.

Apparently antidepressants regulate certain chemicals in our brain or body that aides the better control of our emotions and thoughts by uplifting our spirits. So we don't feel so low and defeated. But then again who am I to contradict the shrink, so I acquiesced.

One of the conspicuous side effects I felt after being on antidepressants for a full week was a lowered sex drive. For the first time, I felt a refreshing break from constantly feeling overwhelmingly sexually frustrated. Because even though I still think about sex all the time, but there was no consuming urge to act on those feelings or touch myself all the time. Which could partially be the logical explanation why I was less emotionally affected by these guys during my week's visit to the neighbouring city.

It was embarrassing having to admit that to him. But the doctor smiled and asked if the temporary loss of sex drive was something I worry about? I said it can be good and it can be bad depending on how you look at it. For starters, it could be a good distraction for me to focus on other problems without having to feel sexually frustrated all the time. 

I remember asking him if this depression thing is all in my head. I had no idea how did I or how could I have allowed myself to fall into a mental state like this? Is it because I'm an emotionally weak person who can't handle life? But to say that I am not strong, would also be an unfair statement to my existence because if I truly wasn't internally strong and determined, I would not have overcame a lot of issues that were thrown my way and grew into this person sitting right here.

How do I prevent something like this from happening again in the future? From a doctor's point of view, do you think that there is a possibility that I actually brought this whole thing upon myself? That I'm responsible for "inventing" the state of mind that I'm in? And that I'm just a weak soul who couldn't figure out how to get out of this on my own? 

He reassured me that I did not bring this upon myself and that getting out of depression is a gradual process that takes effort and time. He told me to stop roping in the past and the future for now and just focus on the present. I find that very true. But deep down inside, I too know that at the end of the day, it still boils down to my internal self. I am the one who will be responsible for wanting to be stronger in order to turn my own life around.