I'm never one to document dreams because most often, their sequence never make sense in writing. But this morning, I woke up feeling overwhelmed. Never have I had such a memorable, extensive travel dream that I could recall in such specific detail. Throughout the entire day, I couldn't get the scenes and emotions out of my head. So here it goes, irrelevantly in writing before it fades.
Dream Scene 1
The dream took place in Beijing, a destination I've toured in person a couple years back. In the dream, I found myself wandering around the city as a tourist. A couple of familiar faces were there too, friends and family. Whether or not if we were travelling together on holiday or on a school trip, wasn't clear. But each one of us went our separate ways.
I remember talking to some people about witnessing the raising of the Chinese flag at sunrise in Tiananmen Square. I then told my younger brother whom was with me that I wanted to visit Jingshan Park in order to get an aerial view of the Forbidden City, and were planning on going to walk around Wangfujing after. My visual memory of Beijing was clearly very impressive in this dream, although I've only been there once.
Dream Scene 2
For some reason, I was again a traveller, staying in a tourist-filled village in Bali for quite some time. I was lost in this maze of local eateries, art markets and speciality shops. The village was a bustling multi-tiered sloped settlement, surrounded by an amazing vista of lush green vegetation and tiers of beautifully manicured rice fields that could rival the intricate layers of even the most impeccable wedding cake.
Then, I found myself wandering around the village with this guy, an attractive man in his 30s. He resembled one of those successful professional guys in business who was on holiday. I couldn't gauge if he was a lover, a fling or a boyfriend, but I definitely felt a strong sense of attachment or closeness, an emotional bond between us. We were together in Bali.
We were lost amidst the village pathways, trying to find our way back to one of the Balinese houses I was staying in. We were goofing around as I latched on playfully to his shoulders and straddled him as he carried me on his back. Boy, it was fun. It felt so right, so comfortable being with him. "We must be lovers then.", I thought. In trying to find our way, we explored secluded pathways and climbed narrow steps to get from one village tier to the next.
Then somehow in this dream, while I was on his back, I remembered the previous dream of being in Beijing. For some reason, the confusion threw me off guard as I told him I wasn't supposed to be here and that I was actually supposed to be in Beijing.
He was a little upset as he put me back down on the ground, held my hand and looked me in the eye with longing frustration, and said: "Make up your mind! Choose your destination. Where are you supposed to be?"
His question got me thinking. As logic and realisation filled my conscious mind, I felt really sad all of a sudden because I realised this scenario, of us being together in Bali wasn't real. I stood there staring into his eyes, and immediately understood every single thing that was playing on his mind through his gaze: "Stay with me. But if you do leave, I will still carry on without you. Are you sad because you have to leave?"
Yes, I thought to myself. I'm sad because I like being with him. But most importantly, I remember telling him despondently: "It's because you are not real in my life. WE are not real."
As I said that, I could hear my own voice mumbling it out in bed. I was aware that my conscious mind was awakening, and that I was going to wake-up from this dream at any moment. But still nothing happened. Without hesitation, I jumped on his back one last time and revel in the last moments of feeling close and connected to him. He smiled and as he turned to look at me, I finally woke up.
It was a weirdly beautiful dream. Beyond my control too.
No comments:
Post a Comment