Last Friday, this close girl friend and I were spending some time together in my historical hometown down south where I was born. As we strolled along a lively street that was lined with alfresco seating pubs and bars during the night, a table of tourist eye-candies caught my attention and I tried to walk it off.
"Oh M, I know you want to sit here so that we can look at them", my friend said while looking at me with a smile. I said yes they're very hot. But I don't want to torture myself again tonight by looking at hot guys so let's just go to the bar in front.
"Oh M, I know you want to sit here so that we can look at them", my friend said while looking at me with a smile. I said yes they're very hot. But I don't want to torture myself again tonight by looking at hot guys so let's just go to the bar in front.
After choosing a table outdoors and ordering our drinks, we settled down to enjoy the crowded atmosphere and the live band that was playing. I obviously got restless at some point and started to people watch as I gulp my bottle of chilled beer. There are lots of attractive people here too.
Then I recognised the towering hot guy seated at a table in front of us. Earlier on while we were strolling around this quaint town, I've seen him around too and deliberately earmarked him as high on the hot list of hot guys I've seen for the day. And now, he's right here within spying distance.
He was wearing a shirt that accentuated his beautiful muscular V-back and his concrete well built physique. He has perfectly short blond hair, haunting deep eyes, defined nose, chiselled jaw and an arousing stubble. His neck, biceps, arms, legs and thighs seem to suggest that he is capable of giving out good genes. He was a full grown adult male and I can smell his male pheromones. I felt a slight tremble in myself. Damn, he's my man. I love him.
For the next hour, I couldn't keep my eyes off him and groped every part that is 'him'. Jesus God! I know all the things I'm gonna wanna do to that body and have him do things to me. I didn't like the fact that he was seated with his date, an exotic looking hot girl who could play a role in one of those island setting films. They were engaged in each other with relaxed interest, looking like they were in their "honeymoon stage" of dating. I felt a stench of jealousy.
"M, stop looking at him! You're making me look too! He's really hot...", said my friend as I laughed. I told her I can't help it. "Did you see all the other girls that were checking him out as they walk by?", she asked as a matter of factly. In order to stop looking at him, we tried to divert our focus towards looking at other people and also trying to guess which couple or person here will be "getting lucky" tonight.
Then the hot guy paid for the bill with his credit card and started to stroll away with his date. We turned out heads and finally there was touching and hugging between them. "Ho ho! He's getting lucky with her tonight. No wait, actually... she's getting lucky with him tonight. Oh wait... Well let's just say they're both gonna get lucky tonight M!", she said to me with a slight chuckling tease.
My mind started to imagine him having fun with her, the intimacy between them and of how he's going to grant somebody else the chance to enjoy sex with him. My face was ridden with jealousy even though it's none of my business. Suddenly, the inner voice scolds: Oh my god, M what the hell are you doing? It's none of your goddamn business who he sleeps with. Stop it! Stop it right now.
After about 30 minutes, I was still paying attention to everybody on the street. Suddenly, I spotted another good-looking foreigner dressed in a black T-shirt walking side by side with a younger plump local guy who was less pleasant to the eyes. I can't explain it, I knew instinctively that they were a travel hook-up because I had a hunch that I might have also seen the good-looking guy on the gay apps about an hour ago.
As soon as I saw the good-looking guy turning onto our street, I kept my eyes on his to see if I was right. Somehow within the sea of people, he immediately caught my gaze and he looked back with his beautiful eyes for a few lingering long seconds as he continued to walk past us. Jackpot he returned my eye-contact! He's gay and he's cute!
I couldn't get that erotic eye-contact moment out of my head so I turned on my gay app and sent a message to the good-looking guy's profile hoping that it was him. He answered me a while later in French and my heart jumped in excitement at the language. After a couple more messages, I discovered that it really was him and he's a traveller from the city where beautiful people would pass me by every day.
I started to ask if there was a chance of us hooking up, but unfortunately my city was not on his itinerary. I was a little disappointed because I couldn't get his beautiful eyes out of my head. Anyway, we exchanged contacts and I requested to keep in touch. Hopefully next year if I ever travel back there again, we'll have the chance to meet for real.
On our way back, I apologised to her if I might have been too inexplicably carried away with my hot guy infatuation. She laughed and said it's okay. I told her about my feelings of unworthiness and lack of confidence when I see hot guys.
I said: "Remember the Law of Attraction? You know whenever I see someone out of my league, my mind automatically generates these feelings of unworthiness in the form of 'I don't have, I can't have, I'm not handsome enough etc'. Maybe that's why nothing comes to me because I am telling the world I am unworthy."
"Recently I'm starting to think that maybe the lesson here is to start learning how to turn those feelings around to trick your mind to start feeling the feel of: 'I have' or 'I can have'. Because that changes the energetic tone of everything! It's like you're shifting the energy from unworthiness to tricking your mind to tell the universe that your dreams are possible, and that you are actually worthy of attracting the guys that might be beyond your league. What do you think?"
She agreed in confidence and said that it actually makes sense from the way I put it. But she also thought that perhaps the trick to turning things around also lies in me. That whenever I see an attractive guy from now, I need to remind myself too that I am hot in my own way rather than feel inferior or unworthy. Her explanation is that the principle of the law is that like attracts like, and you need to believe that you are attractive in your own way to be able to attract other like-minded attractive guys who are already feeling themselves, to you.
"M, stop looking at him! You're making me look too! He's really hot...", said my friend as I laughed. I told her I can't help it. "Did you see all the other girls that were checking him out as they walk by?", she asked as a matter of factly. In order to stop looking at him, we tried to divert our focus towards looking at other people and also trying to guess which couple or person here will be "getting lucky" tonight.
Then the hot guy paid for the bill with his credit card and started to stroll away with his date. We turned out heads and finally there was touching and hugging between them. "Ho ho! He's getting lucky with her tonight. No wait, actually... she's getting lucky with him tonight. Oh wait... Well let's just say they're both gonna get lucky tonight M!", she said to me with a slight chuckling tease.
My mind started to imagine him having fun with her, the intimacy between them and of how he's going to grant somebody else the chance to enjoy sex with him. My face was ridden with jealousy even though it's none of my business. Suddenly, the inner voice scolds: Oh my god, M what the hell are you doing? It's none of your goddamn business who he sleeps with. Stop it! Stop it right now.
After about 30 minutes, I was still paying attention to everybody on the street. Suddenly, I spotted another good-looking foreigner dressed in a black T-shirt walking side by side with a younger plump local guy who was less pleasant to the eyes. I can't explain it, I knew instinctively that they were a travel hook-up because I had a hunch that I might have also seen the good-looking guy on the gay apps about an hour ago.
As soon as I saw the good-looking guy turning onto our street, I kept my eyes on his to see if I was right. Somehow within the sea of people, he immediately caught my gaze and he looked back with his beautiful eyes for a few lingering long seconds as he continued to walk past us. Jackpot he returned my eye-contact! He's gay and he's cute!
I couldn't get that erotic eye-contact moment out of my head so I turned on my gay app and sent a message to the good-looking guy's profile hoping that it was him. He answered me a while later in French and my heart jumped in excitement at the language. After a couple more messages, I discovered that it really was him and he's a traveller from the city where beautiful people would pass me by every day.
I started to ask if there was a chance of us hooking up, but unfortunately my city was not on his itinerary. I was a little disappointed because I couldn't get his beautiful eyes out of my head. Anyway, we exchanged contacts and I requested to keep in touch. Hopefully next year if I ever travel back there again, we'll have the chance to meet for real.
On our way back, I apologised to her if I might have been too inexplicably carried away with my hot guy infatuation. She laughed and said it's okay. I told her about my feelings of unworthiness and lack of confidence when I see hot guys.
I said: "Remember the Law of Attraction? You know whenever I see someone out of my league, my mind automatically generates these feelings of unworthiness in the form of 'I don't have, I can't have, I'm not handsome enough etc'. Maybe that's why nothing comes to me because I am telling the world I am unworthy."
"Recently I'm starting to think that maybe the lesson here is to start learning how to turn those feelings around to trick your mind to start feeling the feel of: 'I have' or 'I can have'. Because that changes the energetic tone of everything! It's like you're shifting the energy from unworthiness to tricking your mind to tell the universe that your dreams are possible, and that you are actually worthy of attracting the guys that might be beyond your league. What do you think?"
She agreed in confidence and said that it actually makes sense from the way I put it. But she also thought that perhaps the trick to turning things around also lies in me. That whenever I see an attractive guy from now, I need to remind myself too that I am hot in my own way rather than feel inferior or unworthy. Her explanation is that the principle of the law is that like attracts like, and you need to believe that you are attractive in your own way to be able to attract other like-minded attractive guys who are already feeling themselves, to you.
Okay, buddy after looking through some of your posts, I have come to realize your fear of identifying the exact location that you are at especially when travelling. There's absolutely nothing wrong with revealing where you are because not everybody will know exactly who you are by identifying your location. It is beginning to get very very frustrating reading 'this place in the city' 'someplace near to where I travel to'. C'mon man, man up! Rejoice yourself. x
ReplyDeleteHey Upper East Sider! How are you doing? Sometimes if you read between the lines of my writing, you can actually pick out the "common locations" in the world.
DeleteIn any case, you'll be happy to know that I do intend to reveal the place of each entry later on in the future when this site develops further. In fact, I love a journal that has a geographical history of travelling with me.
Hope you'll stick around long enough to find out, but for now I have my personal reasons for keeping things quiet. Best regards my friend!