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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Cruising and Fishing Again Without Expectations

Just a little update about what I've been up to for the past 3 weeks. I previously wrote about my failed attempts at online cruising and how things weren't going so well for me. Last month, I decided to revamp and create a fresh new online dating profile in order to take cruising and meeting guys more seriously. I've also downloaded mobile cruising apps such as Grindr and Jack'd to expand my reach.

Ever since I came home from abroad about a year ago, I've completely lost the momentum in pushing myself towards gay experiences that will help me get comfortable with my sexuality. Being stuck in an environment where I don't get to openly develop this aspect of myself, I am a little bummed.

I told myself that if anything new were to come into my life, it must first need a concrete avenue in which it can come to me. Common sense along with the principle of the Law of Attraction tells me that I can think and wish all I want, but if I don't attach any action to my thoughts, nothing is going to happen.

Apart from deciding to give online cruising another go, I'm also changing my attitude towards how I view and approach this after a year of trial and error. I'm going to think of it as an act of unleashing a couple of fishing rods into the endless internet ocean in order for possible connections to come by the wind of a higher power, fate or luck. The hardest part is trying not to have any expectations when I do this.

Filling out the standard columns such as height, weight, eye colour, penis size, ethnicity, role etc took the longest time because that dug out the deepest sense of insecurity in myself. It felt as if my birth-given ticket number, has already sealed my fate and hierarchy in the gay world.

I practically spent the next few days cruising the online ocean with my fishing rod, leaving it logged on even when I went to bed because in addition to wanting a comprehensive gauge of the market, I'm also investing a week's worth of holiday into resuscitating this much-needed past time to better benefit myself. Who knew chatting guys up could take so much time and effort which, can sometimes get very pointless and exhausting. 

So for the past week, I have been in touch and did make friends with a couple of guys in hopes that I'll have some new adventures to write about, but so far nothing has yet to materialise. Maybe I really can't force things, and will just have to let it come when it comes?

3 comments:

  1. thanks for share.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You sound like me :) I ended up giving up on online cruising XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? Ever wish you would go back to cruising online?

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