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Thursday, 1 November 2012

My Failed Attempts at Online Cruising

I previously discovered online cruising while reading the Gay Banker and decided to give it a go. It's part of an effort to try new things and get out of my comfort zone. However, I have no idea how to talk to a guy. How do you start a conversation, how do you tell him you might want to meet and have sex? So here's a brief recollection of my failed attempts at it while I was abroad.


There was an occasion where I checked out the profile of a young French guy who looked like a model. Wow, he was handsome! I knew immediately that he was without a doubt, out of my reach. However, I told myself it wouldn't hurt to at least talk to him. Even if I thought nothing was going to happen, it would do me some good training to learn how to interact and engage guys, although in a foreign language.

I sent him an opening message, complimenting his looks in which I am surprised he even bothered to reply because most handsome guys with that face just don't. The fact that most of my French targets replied made me wonder if it's a response to French guys being polite, or if they're truly open to foreigners who approach them using their mother tongue? I don't know.

We exchanged a couple of sentences and I found out he was an architecture and interior design student. "Wow, handsome with a capacity for style and architectural thinking. He's a high catch", I thought to myself. 

So I just went on exchanging messages just to get us warmed up. I have no idea how to use the chat system. Gradually, the exchange was getting pointless, and I knew there was no way anything was going to happen. So I decided to cut it short and sent him a full face picture of me and my phone number, telling him if he thought anything could happen, get in touch or let me know. There was no reply and I felt reality come hit me again. I've gotta learn how this cruising thing works without letting it worsen my sense of insecurity, about how I feel about myself.


A couple of days before travelling to a neighbouring capital city, I was cruising the destination for prospects and came across the profile of an American guy. He was hot, really hot. I sent him a message telling him I would be travelling to his city, and if he thought there was a chance of us "meeting up", let me know.

There was an instant reply, saying he was up for it and asked for a full face pic. After attaching my full face pics, I was more than ready for a no-reply. But the unexpected response I got was: Hey, you're a good-looking guy! Do you have any more pics?

[In My Head]
"Damn it, he's asking for more pics. I don't have any more non-ugly ones."
"Fine. Maybe he'll come to his senses and stop talking to me after I send this one."

A few seconds after my second sent. He replied.

Yeah. You're good-looking. 
So what are you into?

[In My Head]
"Damn! Is this dude mocking me? A hot guy like him calling me good-looking?"
"He's either really horny or I don't know what else to think."
"Shit, what do I say now? Er..."

Me: [Okay, so here goes nothing]
I'm very into kissing and cuddling. 
I'd like to take it slow, go with the flow. Enjoy the moment.
I like to explore and share the role of giving pleasure and receiving them.
What about you?

I love kissing and cuddling too!
I'd like to take my time and enjoy every moment.
I wanna fuck and be fucked for hours.

"Christ, that sounded..." I want it. Badly. But am I ready? It's going to be my proper first time one-on-one. I have no idea how it works and I'm really nervous. What do I do when I'm with him? I've never even had a proper make out with someone in my life. I've never shared intimacy or touched anybody on that level before. "Pathetic loser!", I hear from the back of my head.

I played cool and acted like I know the drill. Like hook-ups were a normal routine for me and I've done it a dozen times. But at the same time my blood was boiling and I was too shaky to concentrate on what to say next. I just couldn't think straight. I've always dreamt of gay sex and somebody extremely attractive just expressed interest in indulging me and I didn't know how to handle it. "Jeez, being inexperienced really sucks. I just want to get this phase of my life over and done with."

I tried to diffuse some nerves by suggesting we could first meet over coffee and then take it from there. I asked him if he could accommodate. He said yes and continued sending me a couple more shirtless pictures of himself in an unbuttoned jeans, masturbating till he came in front of a bathroom mirror. His prick, his abs, his chest, his arms, his tousled hair. His all-American jock body. Damn I was so turned on, but I didn't do anything because why spoil it all if we're going to meet eventually. Either that or I'm an idiot who doesn't know what the hell is going on.

Sadly after a couple of minutes, while I was trying to get his contact details so I could call him when I'm there, he stopped talking. The next day, his profile completely disappeared and was no longer available. I was of course disappointed and confused as to what really happened back there. My guess was that he probably jerked off in front of his computer while talking to me and other guys. He wasn't even interested at all in meeting up in the first place. I don't know. 

If you're an experienced guy reading this, I would be grateful if you could comment or identify a couple of my problems and advise accordingly. It would be extremely helpful because as a person who is still trying to understand the system, I don't have a clue as to what goes on when we cruise.  


  1. I'd rather go to a park and meet new people in presence. Try going out with people you already know. Who knows what might happen and who you will meet.

    1. Hi Raphaël! Tried it. But nothing ever comes. We'll have to see what else comes down the road. Hope you are well.