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Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Mail: I Don't Want People to be Right by Coming-Out

There was a comment at the end of the post 'Are We Still Living In The Shame?' in which a young anonymous reader said:

His Comment:
"I was teased a lot about acting gay at school as well as by my siblings but I always denied it. Now I feel like coming out means that I'm proving that everyone was right, that they knew more about me than I did about myself. I guess deep down I'm still ashamed of actually being gay even though I've come to accept it."

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My Thoughts:
When I saw the exact phrases above, I could relate to my deepest core of what this guy is expressing. I've previously mentioned about my being in a glass closet and how it all seemed to tie in with my awkward days in school. From fear to denial, I too struggle with the very idea and will, of "not wanting people to be right"Part of the real reason why it took me so long to come to terms with myself, is because I didn't want people to be right.

Within the past 2 years of trying to free myself, I just couldn't make peace with the fact that coming-out will only prove that those people saw right through me and punched me in the face before I could grasp the bigger picture and accept what being different really means. So how am I coping and what do I tell myself?

The straightforward answer as to why people react the way they do is simply because, they canIt is very easy for those who aren't burdened with shortcomings and issues, to target the minority whom are. Because no matter the amount of sunrises and sunsets, the reality is that these people will never wake up to a day whereby they'll have to deal with the hardships and discrimination of what a handful of others such as yourself, have to go through. They just don't. And that my friend, is the mortal world that we live in.

Society will never truly understand the journey you have gone through and will have to go through because it is not in the nature of the world to think from the shoes of others. So what shall we do if we can't change people in order to change the situation? 

Human attraction, much like sexual orientation is by nature beyond our control and the more I think about it, the more I feel so foolish allowing the outside world to debase me over something that I personally didn't play a part in formulating in the first place. It's all human nature! Once you realise this, it is important to then raise yourself above it all, so that you can free yourself from the shame and the inadequacy you've been carrying over something that wasn't even your fault to begin with. Now the world doesn't have to understand that because they never will, but as long as you do, you will be free

The other thing is that the existence of our universe is truly based upon the concept of yin and yang, whereby black can never exist without white, one never without the other. In life, there are the people who are constantly just waiting for us to trip in order to prove them right. But never forget that there are also those who will stop at nothing to ensure the wellness of our being because they love us and we are cherished. 

A prominent figure once said that it's crucial to surround yourself in the company of people who only wants the best for you. Hence it is very important to distinguish who they are and allow yourself to be transparent with them. For the loyal support of those whom you truly carry in your heart, and in knowing that they're not going anywhere, is definitely one of the most lovingly secure feeling in the world that can help you break free, of living in the fear of others.

I am not the world's most secure and intelligent coming-outer, but I sincerely do hope that these written paragraphs might help guys out there who could relate to this story, feel better about themselves both emotionally and mentally in order to move forward in life. Here's a recent post I wrote in commemoration of an inspiring interview about living in fear.

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