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Thursday, 15 January 2015

The Time I Had Two Sex Dates In One Day | ❶

After feeling a little shaken from the previous happenings, I woke up to a jostling Saturday morning where the living room of my friend's apartment was about to play host to a simple breakfast gathering of seven. I was feeling a little empty and completely not in the mood to be around a crowd so I excused myself and went to the bathroom to dwell on my morning ritual.

While on the toilet seat, I checked my Grindr and saw that a cute guy with an approximate distance of 118m has left me a message. Okay, let's talk and see where this goes. Within 15 minutes, we've established via WhatsApp that he was going to touch base again within an hour to see if the hang over dissipates and if he can get himself out of bed to meet for a short coffee then head back to his place for fun.

So I got ready and headed to the corner coffee house to catch up on some writing while I waited for his text. I had a very strong feeling that he might stand me up, but it didn't bother me at all even if he does because I was so engrossed in my backlog, and my journal is more important than any date. So in the end, he never touched base like he said he would.

I stayed and continued to write when another profile from Grindr who previously wasn't willing to give me his number, spontaneously left me a missed call and a voice message asking if we could meet for coffee. I called him back and within 40 minutes, I took the bus and met him in Darlinghurst, one of the most exciting gay neighbourhoods in the city.

For the past month, Grindr along with the other gay apps have unconsciously become my new social network obsession where I'm constantly on it all the time. It was so weird to think that when I was cruising very hard during the week, nothing comes up. But the minute I let go, and try to use the Law of Attraction to envision a sexually satisfied version of myself, where the energy I'm feeling says: "I'm having, I have, or have already had", these encounters just start popping up spontaneously at an unexpectedly fast rate. This method was proven to work in the post where I wrote about my sex date with a broadcasting executive.

Forty minutes later as I descended from the bus near my destination, I NEVER thought fate will physically let me cross paths with "Frenchy", this insanely hot French jock I've been trying to woo for weeks on Grindr. He lives about 80 metres away from my unit but have never for once replied my damn messages. 

Oh my God, that's Frenchy! Frenchy! The hot guy we've been after. What do we do now what do we do now? Should we go say 'Hi'? Damn it, how do we get his attention? How can we approach this fragile situation sensibly without destroying our shot? Oh my God, think, think damn it!

Within that few precious seconds that we crossed paths, I tried to get him to look at me. Come on look at me baby. Look at me. Regarde-moi damn it! Unfortunately, he wasn't aware of it and continued walking across the street to the opposite bus station. I deliberately changed my route so that I can give myself an additional ten seconds to think about what I'm going to do.

He was wearing an extremely tight maroon t-shirt with faded jeans, complete with music ear plugs which makes getting his attention an obstacle. Jesus, he is so hot. By the looks of it, he was on his way home from a work-out session at Fitness First. I watched him as he positions himself on the bus stop bench and stared into his phone.

At that point, I was really confused with my dilemma. I was late for my meet-up with the guy from Grindr, but yet I couldn't let go of my chance with 'Frenchy'. Bumping into him has catapulted me into a state where I was ecstatic, scared and torn. Torn between if I should take a left to walk away, or screw being late and take a right to invest an additional ten minutes to try and get his number at the bus stop. Come on come on M think! I stood on the side of the pavement for a good five to ten minutes in order for my mind to reason itself. 

Right Side:
"M, what are the odds that fate has arranged for you to bump into the guy you've been hunting after in order for you to walk away? You are NOT going to get another opportunity to cross paths like this again! Grow some balls and take the risk." 

"But what are we gonna say? What if we look stupid? What is our excuse to approach him? What if going up to him actually expedites rejection and ruin everything?"

Left Side:
"M, you are late for a date. With a guy who has concretely asked you out and arranged for a meeting nonetheless. This IS the present situation. Not the 'what-if' you are fantasising with 'Frenchy'. And yet, here you are thinking about whether if you want to go for somebody else? Is this fair to the present guy that is waiting for you?"

Right Side:
"No it's not fair. But neither it is to ask me to give up on this! I've been trying to get his attention for weeks." 

Left Side:
"It's okay. Just do the right thing and go meet your date now. Forget about 'Frenchy' because if he is interested in meeting, wouldn't he reply your messages in the first place? Take a hint. Look if you truly are destined to talk to each other, the universe will give a second chance to allow that to happen again. So let's go."

Right Side:
"What? What?! What a bunch of bullshit? Wait, let me thi..."

So I walked away, which I know sounds extremely stupid right now while writing it in black and white, but I made a choice based on what I thought was the right behaviour, and I can't change the past. Looking back, one might think that I would have drew on the missed opportunity lesson learnt at Starbucks and Midnight Shift to never let another opportunity pass me by this time, but unfortunately I didn't.

Using the entrance of Stonewall, a popular gay bar on Oxford Street as a landmark, I finally met up with my Grindr candidate and adjourned to a nearby coffee house for a drink. He looks better in person than in his profile picture. The features that really stood out was his incredibly scruffy jaw and his blue eyes. As soon as I saw him, I knew we were going to end up in bed together. He is not young, but neither is he too old.

He was an Anglo-Australian and the conversation with him really had every potential to be enjoyable and interesting. However, I was clearly not in my element that afternoon and I couldn't bring myself to concentrate. My heart and mind was just completely scattered all over the place firstly because of my missed opportunity with 'Frenchy'. Secondly the gay café we were in was just flooded with hot beautiful gay guys I salivate for, and thirdly, our outdoor table was right in front of the balcony unit of the German man on rebound who might catch me with another man. Wow, three issues? I thought you were just a simple guy?

Throughout the entire sitting, I was feeling very anxious and all over the place. Then, the candidate says that we should go back and chill at his home. Oh thank God, let's move. Maybe the sooner we have sex, the faster I can blow off some much needed steam that is contributing to my nervous scattered self.

The weird thing is that I feel the term horny is not what this is called, because I associate horny with being able to just fuck your brains out to solve the problem. I would have to say that hunger for a make out and physical passion with another man is a more accurate description of my situation. Although it might be the same to many.

[ Reminder: Sexual Content Ahead ] 
 - - -  Please STOP reading now if you're not comfortable  - - -

So we arrived, and a casual tour of the place conveniently turns into a make out in his room. The kiss was good, the cuddles were good, everything was so far so good.

"God, you are so sexy do you know that?", he says to me in between sealing our lips together. "God, I love your scruff", I murmured in reciprocation and he chuckled in amusement. My heart giggled at its own attempt in trying to create a little bed entertainment.

Then I went down on his competently-sized tool and he moaned in absolute ecstasy while trying to stick a finger in to play with my ass. "Are you clean?", he whispered? "Yes I am", I replied. "So, you cleaned yourself before you came to see me. You must be expecting to get fucked", he teases.

"Uh, no. I just like being clean. Has nothing to do with wanting to be fucked", I answered as a matter of factually with an underlying tone that seems to suggest that we won't be doing anal today. He asked if I liked being rimmed and I told him I love it! 

I had a moment in my head where it hit me that guys who firmly identify themselves as Tops love putting their lips to asses. Nevertheless, as long as I don't have to do it on others, it's fine. So we alternated between me giving him a blowjob and him rimming me. It got to a point where we were passionately in the 69 position. The friction of his scruff and flickering of his tongue when he rimmed me was good.

After a while, I was starting to get bored and asked if he wanted to come. "Not yet. I haven't gotten around to fucking you", he says. "Uh, there will be no fucking today", I said. 

"Aaw, why? Why? Come on", he pleads softly almost in a whisper. I shook my head and stayed strong in my decision. Then, being the "pleaser" that I am, I couldn't help but gave in after a while. The whole thing wasn't too bad, but I remember telling him to get it over with quickly because I haven't found my joy in being a bottom. He did wanted to help me "like" it with many different positions, but I was just really not in the mood.

When we were done, we took a shower and got dressed. He was headed to the Opera House for some kind of performance and I was just gonna find a café on Oxford Street to continue putting my backlog of thoughts into writing. I waited with him at the bus station until his ride came and we said goodbye. Apart from that, it was nice to get a text from him later asking me how I am.

Later on at a café, I bought myself some tea and sat down to write at a small corner, relying on the miserable power plug that is sustaining my low battery device. As you can imagine, I was also heavily distracted on the gay apps on my phone, which reminded me very much about my Facebook addiction when it first came out. My excuse was that I am in Darlinghurst on a Saturday night and I would like to increase my chances of getting in touch with more guys. I alternated between writing and cruising.

[ To Be Continued... The Time I Had Two Sex Dates In One Day  |  ❷ ]


  1. You know, I honestly don't think you made the wrong decision there. I mean, a big part of living in the moment is not chasing after "what could be". Sure you can look at it as if the world was giving you a chance with Frenchy but you'd be dishonoring your previous commitment and promoting a disincentive for people to go out on a limb and reach out to you. I have a friend that's always says he will be there, but is constantly looking for a better offer (not for sex, but just for something more fun to do with his time) and I basically don't ask him out anymore. So, I think what you did was great. Stay the course and be fully present for the guy and then follow-up with Frenchy later.

    And on the topic of you being a "closeted top"... You could be one of the guys that's just not into anal sex. But, I really do think you're a closeted top. You're just looking for the right guy to bring it out of you and build up your confidence in that role. Just my opinion on what I've read. I'm sure you know better though. =)

  2. M, I would say the distraction of always checking grindr and PR on phone is very common. It sometimes increases the heartbeat when you have promised to meet someone and in the middle of it, you find a more hot guy. I would say developing a wisdom from the heart is very important in this regard.

    Follow your heart and have a courage to dream, for what you dream becomes your life. What my dream should be? The first answer your heart speaks is the truest. Follow what you love. That is always a right direction. When your intention is clear, the path opens up.

    Find that course.
    Stay on it.
    Believe in yourself.
    When you lose your direction, look inside and find it again.

    I open my heart and hear myself
    speaking the truth. I open my heart
    and see myself finding my way.