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Friday, 27 September 2013

Second Round of Fun at E's

Back in June, I drove to E's home and visited him for the second time on a Sunday night. For days, I've been longing lasciviously for someone to kiss, someone to embrace, someone to smell and someone to drown in.

When it came to E, I was more interested in making out with him, running my fingers through his hair, embracing his broad shoulders and being close to him rather than get naked. I discovered this preference after my first sexual encounter with him which further validated that I was hungry at the "idea" of the fun with him as opposed to the "reality" of the fun with him.

If I was being honest with myself, I reached out to him that day because he was the only guy I could think of. Even though I wasn't very excited at the thought of getting naked with him, I told myself to always give things a second or third chance and go with the flow.

[ Reminder: Sexual Content Ahead ]

After the long make out we had on the couch, he held my right hand and pulled me with him into the bedroom. We disrobed and continued making out on the bed. I blew him at one point and he blew me too at the 69 position. That was cool, but awkward at certain parts because I didn't quite enjoyed his tool.

The highlight of the night however, was that I suddenly found myself laying face down on his bed, knees folded as he rimmed me. He would kiss and glide his tongue all over my back, nip my butt cheeks and go right down to the back entrance and start rimming fearlessly. Boy, it was amazing and I've never felt anything like it before. I certainly wasn't expecting to be rimmed for the first time tonight and he was really good at it. Thank fuck that I smell amazing and cleaned every part of myself thoroughly with fragrant body wash. 

Although it was fun receiving it, but I didn't know if I could mentally prepare myself to return the favour. I've never done it before. "Was he expecting me to rim him too?", I hear myself ponder. Without wanting to think too much, I drowned those voices out and just allowed myself to enjoy the moment and the sensations he was giving me. That activity ended up taking a while.

Things started to slow down a bit and we ended up cuddling each other in bed. I felt bad that after all the work he did, he didn't come. So I asked if he'd like to come and he said let's come together. I told him for some reason that night, I couldn't find my release but would be happy to help him climax. He said he didn't need to come so we let things be and laid down there together in embrace. 

The thing that I couldn't get used to was the kissing that came after he rimmed me. I played along with a few pecks but always tried to avoid it whenever he tried to initiate a longer kiss. After tumbling here and there, I was getting very restless and decided that it was time to go home to bed. The time was already 01:24 on a Monday morning. As I prepared to reach out for my clothes, he longingly pulled me into position, started kissing my back again and went on down to rim me for the second time. 

At that point, even though I was no longer in the mood, but I acquiesced for not wanting to be a sour grape and laid down for him. Mentally, I started feeling uncomfortable because I was aware at how much he was giving me that night and I didn't do much for him. I started wondering too if he genuinely liked my body, if he was truly enjoying himself, if I was being selfish on my part, or if he was trying to please me so I wouldn't go home? How will I ever do something for him that will top this?

Later on, I managed to put on my clothes after some more kissing and sucking around. He put on his clothes too, but would grab me, hug me, pull me down onto the bed at every interval as a longing gesture that he didn't want me to leave. I knew in my heart at that point that I should be jumping in celebration that a guy like him was showing me such positive gestures, but deep inside, I suddenly felt like I needed my own space.

As we were getting ready to exit the bedroom, I casually asked him what he normally likes to do in bed, wondering what was it that I could have done for him. He said it depends on the guy. If it's somebody like me who has nice skin, is clean and smells good, he likes to kiss my back and rim me. The fact that I could be so intimate with somebody and yet, fail to properly know if I successfully pleased him to his taste that night makes me feel very insecure about where I stand.


  1. You are frightened of the unknown. You are afraid of being touched and this probably goes back to childhood when you first found the implications of being gay and all that held for you. Be honest with the guy and tell him you are so inexperienced that you need to start at the beginning. He will more likely be excited at having a nervous student to take in hand.

    1. Hey thank you. Actually I still have yet to figure out the reason for my behaviour. I think it's too soon to unravel it too. Probably need a couple more experiences to see a pattern and to know what's wrong.