A few months back, I remember having a chat with the elder Irishman who told me he has been in a couple of relationships. The most recent one of ten years, ended about a year ago because they both grew apart.
Me:
How did the two of you grew apart? So does love die or fade, eventually?
He:
You have to nourish. Love like it is a flower. Over watering and under watering can kill it. So you need balance. We lost both of this, and I guess the balance could not be restored.
Me:
But you know that feeling when people 'fall out of love'... I know it happens, but I have trouble believing in 'how' it can happen. Like you said, when 2 people say they love each other, they love each other.
And also, how could you still limit yourself now to still being a hopeless romantic when you personally have experienced that love doesn't last forever and that people fall out. Just like your last relationship.
He:
Because the human mind is strange. You can listen to a song for many many times and love it. One day you may listen to it and it does not touch you any more. Bit like love. But after you grieve from past love, you start to feel there is another love out there.
I have no experience in love. Neither do I have the confidence that I will get to experience it any time soon. To be honest, I feel so weird discussing about love in the shoes of somebody who has never before had the capacity and luck to be in a relationship. I hope it won't be too long from now.
Me:
How did the two of you grew apart? So does love die or fade, eventually?
He:
You have to nourish. Love like it is a flower. Over watering and under watering can kill it. So you need balance. We lost both of this, and I guess the balance could not be restored.
Me:
But you know that feeling when people 'fall out of love'... I know it happens, but I have trouble believing in 'how' it can happen. Like you said, when 2 people say they love each other, they love each other.
And also, how could you still limit yourself now to still being a hopeless romantic when you personally have experienced that love doesn't last forever and that people fall out. Just like your last relationship.
He:
Because the human mind is strange. You can listen to a song for many many times and love it. One day you may listen to it and it does not touch you any more. Bit like love. But after you grieve from past love, you start to feel there is another love out there.
I have no experience in love. Neither do I have the confidence that I will get to experience it any time soon. To be honest, I feel so weird discussing about love in the shoes of somebody who has never before had the capacity and luck to be in a relationship. I hope it won't be too long from now.
There is a difference between loving someone and "being in love" with someone. The former is much more resilient. That latter doesn't always last, at least not very often in the same form it began. It takes maturity and maybe experience to understand and accept that. If you do, and you're lucky enough to meet another person who understands it, too, you'll have what it takes to make a relationship last.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. You sound like a really good guy.
Great bloog you have
ReplyDelete