A Little Something About Being Angry With God

Part of the journey that comes with growing up is understanding how the relationship between heaven and Earth works. As someone who was raised to believe in a higher power, I found myself resenting the heavens when things don't play out in a way that would give me the closure I seek.

Yesterday, I watched something life-changing about being angry with God that completely altered the way I will ever again live my life. The scene shows a life coach trying to help a widow deal with her overwhelming anger with God because she lost her husband to cancer.

Life Coach:

"Who are you angry with now?"

Widow: [silent]

"..."

Life Coach:

"Tell the truth."

Widow:

"God."

Life Coach:

"Absolutely..." 

"Powerful awareness?"

Widow:

"Yes."

Life Coach:

"Powerful courageous acknowledgement?"

Widow:

"Yes."

Life Coach:

"Many of us are angry with God." 

"And we think because we don't say it, God doesn't know it."

Widow:

"I know he knows."

Life Coach:

"You know, God knows you're angry and he really is just waiting for you to admit it to yourself. And you're angry with God because...?"

Widow:

"I thought He was going to let him live."

Life Coach:

"He is living! Just not the way you thought it would be..."

Widow:

"Okay, keep him here with me."

Life Coach:

"So you're angry with God because God didn't do what you wanted God to do."

Widow:

"Yes."

Life Coach: [turns to the crowded workshop audience]

"Is she alone? Raise your hand! Let me see your hand! I am angry with God because God didn't do it the way I wanted it to be done."

[Hands raised]

Life Coach: [back to the widow]
"And how were you trying to communicate to God what it is you wanted God to do?"

Widow: [tears up]

"Daily prayer."

Life Coach:

"Prayer..." 

"Now you know prayer is not your bargaining chip with God. You see a lot of us go off like that." 

"Prayer is the way we align our mind with divine mind. Prayer is the way that we commune with the God within and align that with divine mind." 

"But we started using spiritual tools to do human things."

Widow:

"Yes."

Life Coach:

"And then when we don't get what we want, we get pissed off with God. Yeah."

"Where did you make up... in your mind that God was supposed to do God the way you want God to do God?" 

"Where did you get that from?"

Widow:

"In my mind, if I did everything that I thought I was supposed to do, which is from prayer to staying at his side, never leaving..."

Life Coach:

"You made up a story about what you were supposed to do and then held God hostage to that. You get that? Is it working for you?"

Widow: [tears and smiles]

"No."

Life Coach:

"Okay. Are you willing to try something else?"

Widow:

"Yes."

Life Coach:

"So here's what I wanna offer you my beloved. You have made this about your husband. Your love for him. You love him he loved you... So here's what I wanna offer you."

Widow:

"Okay."

Life Coach:
"You said that... you loved your husband for the last 8 years of his life and you know that God sent you to love him, chose you to love him and take him out! Is that accurate?"

"I wanna offer you... Suppose God sent your husband to you, to show you the depth of love you are capable of. Suppose this ain't about what you did for your husband, but what about what your Husband did for you."

"Because your husband didn't bring in the love, the love was already there! What your husband did was give you an opportunity to experience and express the depth of love you are capable of. And you keep making it about outside, when what I wanna offer you is all going on on the inside."