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Thursday, 2 May 2013

My First One-On-One | ❶

After meeting E on Sunday, he hinted with a text that we could both hang out when we're free. So yesterday on a Monday night, he invited me over to his place for cuddles. "Oh. This could be it", I thought to myself. After teaching myself about gay life for about a year and a half, I could probably predict how this meeting was going to turn out.

I liked the idea of him seeing me in my formal work clothes because I look good. So I left the office later than usual, went home to freshen up, brush my teeth, sprayed some cologne and drove to his place. Although my heart was probably pounding about an hour ago, but somehow I don't know where I drew the inner calm to feel unusually normal. Perhaps it's because I managed to convince myself mentally that sex or no sex, gay or no gay, just carry yourself like how you would with other normal straight guys. "Lucky I was wearing my nice-looking Calvins!"

I arrived at his home and talked to him like any normal guest would when you enter somebody's house for the first time. You ask about the furniture, comment about his interior space and talk like how you would. We settled side by side on a couch in front of the television and I thought to myself, "Okay... I have a very strong feeling about what we both want. But damn it. What now? How are we to go about it?" 

Then I recalled all that I've read pertaining to body language and also to sit in a way that would encourage touch and skin contact. Memories of how I behaved at the gay sauna last year came back to help make it all easier for me to be a man about this. All the porn, the gay movies, the blogs, the stories and the Googling I did. I lightly touched his shoulder and neck and he instantly responded to cuddle me. "There we go! We've broken the ice!" I smiled to myself on the inside.

As soon as we embraced, his fragrant body scent unconsciously drew out the words: "Do you like kissing?" from my mouth. And before I could register what I just asked, our lips were sealed together in contact and I was finally smooching an attractive guy for real. My head was just scrolling with sentences!

"Oh my god. It's happening. I am finally kissing a guy I am attracted to. Man, he smells good. His lips taste and feels amazing. I have been waiting to experience this for so long! Since starting Gay & Invisible, since 2 years ago, since high school, since forever! Fuck, I am going to savour this."

The kissing was extremely enjoyable and I loved every second of it. We would alternate upper and lower lips with occasional nips initiated by me. He would suck on my tongue, cup his lips against mine, inhale deeply and just smooch. I could feel his breath, smell his scent. The rhythm,  the force and the flow, our mouths were basically complimenting each other so well that it was an amazing make-out. And although I have no experience, but I'd say I'm pretty good for a first timer with another kisser who certainly knows his stuff.

After a while, he suggested taking things to his bedroom and I went along with the flow. "Wow. I can't believe this is actually playing out in a way that I've read them to be, on blogs, in movies and in books!"

[ To Be Continued... My First One-On-One | ❷ ]


  1. I knew it was just a matter of time! So wonderful for you! I think you've been fooling us! You have much more appeal than you've alluded to! LOL!
    It's wonderfully rapturous, isn't it? I miss that feeling so very much. I hope you treasure it always. However, I have no doubt there will be more to come!


  2. Yay yay and yay again for you. Sounds wonderful, enjoy it, every second of it and please try not to over think it afterwards!

    1. You're right Jason in regard to my tendencies to over think. Haha! Thank you.