Navigation Bar Blue

Thursday, 27 March 2014

Learning to Rise Above Dull-Witted Homophobes at Work

Few weeks ago, a potential new hire came into the workplace for a job interview. However, I didn't manage to get a glimpse of him until the last 15 seconds when the interview ended and he was escorted by the panel past our desks to the exit.

He was your typical average-looking fellow citizen who was overdressed and if I may be honest, looked gay. But then I started thinking, it's none of my business. And regardless if my assumption about him was true or not, all he has to say to relegate my auto-pilot judgemental instincts back into its place, is that he actually fucks woman.

When it started to register in my head that there is a very high chance that this new hire might be a fellow gay brother, I became worried about how he was going to be bullied when he starts his permanent tenure here, in a place where the people are pettily unhealthy.

This morning, a loud cross cubicle discussion about the new hire ensued between two female colleagues. I know intelligent people ignore, but man it still irritated the fuck out of me.

Female Colleague 1: [smiles proudly]
"Hey, you know that new guy that we hired? He's gay. I think he's gay. I mean I suspected it."

In My Head: [annoyed]
Oh for fuck sake! Wow. Bravo girl. Bra-vo to you for such a worthy accomplishment! You guessed out the gay guy! You have the gift that everyone would kill for! How cool is that?! Maybe from now on you can use it to guess the lottery numbers?! Maybe that might get you an actual applause.

Female Colleague 2:
"Oh really?"

Female Colleague 1: [smiles proudly]
"Yeah! Director 2 (the egoistical one) who was interviewing him told us all the other day that 'his gaydar was going off the charts, off the charts!' "

"Then Director 1 (the one I like) was like: 'Naah guys! Come on.' "

Female Colleague 2:
"Ho ho"

Female Colleague 1: [smiles proudly]

Female Colleague 2:
[turns to another permanent male co-worker, Colleague 3]
"Hey did you hear that? You better be careful! lol..."

Male Colleague 3:
[awkward and uncomfortable, pretended he didn't hear the comment]

In My Head: [extremely annoyed]
Lord, put me OUT of my misery by striking these peopl- No no no! Stop it. That is so beneath you. Stop it. Let it go, let it go. Rise above. Shush!

I think you don't have to be a genius to interpret how the final comment might suggest that just because the new hire looks gay or might be a homosexual, every other straight male person that is within radius is immediately in danger of being pursued, converted, molested, raped or whatever discriminatory verb you'd choose to use.

Readers must be thinking why would I give these people power by rehearsing their narrow-minded gossips in a bright journal dedicated to greater things? Well, these are exactly the kind of stupid mockery that happens in the close-minded world I live in, and my purpose here is to document it as part of the ongoing journey before I actually achieve true freedom one day and tune out.


  1. Sounds like my workplace. We hired a 48 yo guy who is single and no kids. I wouldn't guess that he's gay. The HR Manager said, "He must be gay. That old and not married? Has to be gay." This is the HR manager!!

    1. Hey I thought HR Managers aren't supposed to judge?

  2. Hmm... Major sexual harassment violation. I guess I can't relate. The companies I've worked for were all really open. And my current one is an HR nightmare but still really open. Feels like a locker room with f bombs flying all over and penises and tits referred to regularly by both the gays and straights. Guess tech companies are kinda weird anyway... I mean, we regularly bring in kegs to celebrate something or other.