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Saturday, 3 August 2013

Beginners' Concern & FAQs Regarding Gay Mobile Apps

●  How to Use Gay Mobile Apps to Break Into Gay Life? 
●  Important Tips to Further Secure a Successful Meet-Up 
In response to the previous articles, here are a couple of FAQs and common concerns.

1. Why should new comers like me use gay mobile applications?
To speed up the process of discovering more about yourself and to get comfortable in establishing the necessary contact with other gay guys, especially if you're still closeted and trying to understand what it all means. 

When I was coming to terms with being gay, I was shy and terrified of making any physical steps to connect with the gay world. This method would not only psychologically put you at ease, but would also allow you to take a virtual step into getting in touch with other guys without actually having to physically go out and put yourself on a daunting spot if you're not yet comfortable or ready.

You don't necessarily have to do things you don't want to do. All I'm trying to recommend here is to use these apps as a platform to start talking to guys and to feel comfortable in a gay environment. For me, it was through reading the Gay Banker's blog that I discovered how to use Gaydar in 2011 to establish connections.

2. What can I get from this and how does it help me in my gay journey?
There is no guarantee as to what you'll take away from using these apps or what should happen, because the purpose of this method is to get you in touch with other guys who like guys. The rest is up to luck, human nature and attraction which is beyond our control. 

In terms of how it will help you is that meeting guys, having sexual exploration and constantly being in contact with the circle will build up your confidence. It would also shed some light, dispel fear and perhaps help you understand what it means to be gay and yourself. In due course, living a gay life wouldn't seem so foreign any more than it is a fact of life.

3. Why smartphones in particular and why these apps?
Because smartphones are personal gadgets that follow us wherever we go these days, and with internet connection such as Wi-Fi, these mobile applications suddenly become magic windows to help you get in touch with the spectrum of guys that are present within the geographical area, wherever you are in the world. 

So do take advantage of this, as gay guys who grew up in the 1970s would probably tell you how grateful they would have been had they had what we have today.

4. Where should I use these apps or try out this method?
These apps will work best in large urban areas and better yet, in cities where there is a large gay population like London, New York City or Bangkok. Although you won't get much from using them in villages and small towns, but sometimes I do try it out just to see if anybody I know from the remote region is gay. You just never know if you might find an unexpected gay friend or a sex partner in the process.

Apart from that, try out the apps whenever you are in a seemingly conservative nation. Gay guys in my country are found everywhere on the apps even though homosexuals are punishable under the laws from where I live.

5. I'm afraid that my exact location and whereabouts will be revealed.
Although the app displays specific distances between you and the other guys such as 235m or 1.1km away, but they do not in any way expose your exact location on the dot like a GPS. I have seen profiles that are 0.01km from me, but have never for once spotted them anywhere within the area that I was in. So don't let this feature scare you unnecessarily unless you have a truly good reason for it to.

6. I'm afraid of being recognised through my picture.
This is a legitimate concern and there might be a chance of somebody recognising you through your profile pictures, such as how I did with some guys in this post titled: When Profile Pictures Do Not Match Up

Unless you're a prominent figure within your community, you shouldn't worry too much about this because realistically speaking in truth, hundreds of guys come and go on these apps every minute, every hour of every day. Unless I have extreme photographic memory or in exceptionally rare cases, I probably wouldn't even notice you even if you were to walk past me on the street. And even if I did, what's the worse that could happen?

7. I'm afraid to have gay apps on my phone for fear of being accidentally discovered.
Whatever the reason may be that we're scared, some of us might still worry, especially if we're tightly in the closet.

Try this trick. Combine the gay apps into a folder and rename it into a boring title that would deter suspicion. The folder itself when placed amongst other folders blend in and are not so visible. They become camouflaged and are hidden from the obvious.

8. I've never done this before and I'm nervous.
Don't worry, many guys have probably gone through the same process as you did when they were first discovering more about themselves and their place in gay life. All I can say to you is that you will never know how well you fair if you didn't give it a try. No guy is ever born with the ability to cruise and manoeuvre themselves dexterously through the gay jungle, we learn through experiences, embarrassments and failure. 

Most people wait until they know how to swim before they jump in, but truth is jumping in is what we need in order for us to learn how to swim. So stop worrying too much and just try it out for yourself. Don't be discouraged if you stumble, because what it really means is that you're actually on the right way to building your experience to knowing what works and what doesn't.


  1. A very cool article for the gay novice. Well done.

    1. Hey thanks! Hope it helps future guys.