Despite constantly hanging around too much on my gay mobile applications such as Grindr, Jack'd and Manhunt, I haven't exactly been having much luck with the guys that I come across. I'd make contact with a couple of them who looked attractive in their profile pictures. Usually there wouldn't be a single response or things just never really work out after a couple of exchanges or rather, those that I make contact with.
Sometimes, it still does hurt the ego a little bit when it comes to facing cold rejection. Is it me or is it them? That question would have sunk me to the direct bottom about one and a half years ago when I first tried to venture into the virtual gay world. Fortunately after having been in here for a while, I'd say that I'm now much smarter in trying not to enter that analytical whirlpool and will gladly move on with my head up high.
Over the past few months, I spotted a couple of them in the regular places that I usually hang out in such as a local coffee house or a mall that I always go to. I started wondering recently if there is a reason behind why I've never really got through to these guys. The thing is I have never seen any of these guys in flesh, only in pictures and they now look so different.
One guy looked really masculine and clean in his profile picture, but seated at a table across from me inside the coffee house, I was kinda glad that I didn't have to put myself through having to tell him at the door that this just isn't going to work out. There was another guy in which he looked athletically hot in his profile picture, however in flesh he aged so much, was shorter than I am and wasn't at all the hot guy I thought he was.
I am writing this not for the reasons that the public might perceive this to be, but rather to recall the time where I felt so inferior because I thought these were the hotter guys who could get anybody they wanted and they rejected me. When I think back, I can't help but felt a sense of comforting boost to my self-esteem. Because you now realised that you're actually not as bad as how you over-perceived yourself to be, and you wondered why you beat yourself up just because you couldn't get the virtual guy you wanted.