Navigation Bar Blue

Saturday, 8 June 2013

He Says It's Too Complicated

After the unexpected fun I had with the Irish Department Head a couple weeks back, M² and I resumed the same role and distance we've always had in the office. Within the same week after our sexual encounter, I couldn't shed the feeling of being shy and embarrassed to look at him in the eye whenever he comes up to my level for meetings.

It took me a while to get over the awkward feeling and just let my adult self acknowledge this side of life I now have to start getting comfortable with. "Yeah you blew him!", I teased myself from the back of my head. Later on, I managed to track down his personal number discreetly and texted him mine to see if he would be open to responding. There was no reply and I stayed down.

I once bumped into him in the restroom as he entered. We were both surprised and gave each other a big "Hey" as we reached out to embrace in an almost sexually playful manner. Unfortunately, somebody else came in and we rebutted flawlessly in one smooth move.

Throughout the ensuing weeks whenever he came up to my floor, I acted cool and uninterested even though he's always checking me out or taunting me with his presence. For example, when I'm having a laugh with my team mate, he would suddenly go "What's so funny?" or "What are you laughing at?" He would also sometimes speak loudly or enunciate sentences while talking to his people in front of me in order to make his presence known when I'm lost in my work. Jeez, is that really necessary?

Once I was enjoying a bar of Toblerone and he yelled "chocolate!" to get my attention as he walked past my cubicle and looked me in the eye with a grin. I smiled politely in return, but my inner insecure self rolled its eyes and went whatever! Can't even reply a simple text message like a real man? Choc-co-late. How dare he. Please.

Last week, I was feeling horny and decided to send him obvious signs by gazing at him. I would also make sure he sees the snack-hungry way I look at his arms and chest before slowly and conveniently walking away. I went into the restroom, chose the handicapped cubicle and decided to wait with the door close. As anticipated, somebody entered to take a leak. I quietly peeked through the bottom gap and recognised his shoes in front of one of the urinals.

I opened the door and he realised somebody was looking, he turned around, saw me and gave me a fake smile. I just stood there with the door open and waited for him with plenty of eye-contact like how I did the first time with him at the mall. I signalled for him to enter, but he shook his head repeatedly in disagreement while looking at my pants. When he was done, he came to the entrance of the cubicle and started feeling up my waist, my chest and my underwear without wanting to enter.

I knew he was playing some sort of game so I tried persistently to pull him into the cubicle before somebody else walks in, he refused. At the thought that I might not have texted the right number, I asked for his contact once again and if he would rather take this forbidden fun of ours outside the office and he said no it's too complicated.

The thing is he kept saying no, but yet he was already fidgeting with my pants, trying to unbuckle it. I was so turned on, I gave in and unbuckled it myself to reveal my tool. He took a deep breath in expression of irresistibility and continued to fondle me while playing with my prick for a good 10 minutes. I tried to get him to come into the cubicle again but he remained firm. What the fuck is his problem? Is he enjoying this thrill of being caught? It's been 10 minutes and somebody could now walk in any second!

We heard a couple of footsteps along the corridor of the restroom and he instantly stopped but remained still. He stood there looking at me and my bulging underwear as I pushed my tool back into its fabric den but didn't buckle up. Once again, he inhaled deeply and shook his head in awe disbelief. 

After about a minute or two, I decided to buckle up and we stood side by side at the sink to wash out own hands while he maintained uninterrupted eye-contact on my crotch. I was a little confused as to what is happening between us. He said no to us having fun, but yet his actions were totally contradicting what he was saying. Is he pulling my leg? What does this mean? I am so confused. Is this the kind of twisted mind game he wants to engage me in?

Being the persistent person that I am, I requested for a pen to give him my number so that we can take this somewhere else and he said he actually had it all along. I questioned his sense of courtesy in not replying my previous text message and he said no it's just too complicated. I reassured him that what I'm feeling here is just purely sex and nothing more. Still, he remained firm in his decision, but yet he was telling me that "This wants to go in there" as he pointed from his dick to my ass. "Christ, how is that possible if you don't meet me halfway?!"

We were now standing behind the entrance of the restroom door and whispering to each other like boyfriends in discreet argument. He resumed to fondle the concealed erection in my pants as he took my right hand and caressed his very own bulging package. This moment of weakness is dangerously distracted me from the fact that people could just walk in on us any time now and there will be no excuse in the world to justify this. I pressed my hand up against the door to give us a little bit more time to revel in each other's touch. 

After a while, I came to my senses that I really didn't want to compromise my dignity for this guy who doesn't want to meet me halfway. So I decided to respect not only his decision, but also my sense of self-worth and wanted to walk away from this. He looked at me with eyes wide open and said: "You can't go outside with that!" as he pointed to my firm erection. I said I'll manage.

Suddenly, my colleague pushed the damn door open and entered the bathroom. Fortunately M² and I were already preparing to leave as I gave the guy that came in a loud friendly coincidental hey-how's-it-going-with-you-bro greeting and walked out.


  1. He definitely doesn't sound like his worth your time. I know that after you first hook up with someone, you want to hookup with almost anyone who's willing, but you should definitely only look for guys who are willing to meet you half way and who respect you. I don't know what the deal is with this guy, but I don't think he's worth it.

    It's surprising hard to find someone to have fun with who's also not weird or a jerk... Good luck on your search!

    1. Hey, many thanks for the input! :)

  2. You are temptation and this guy is fighting hard (literally) not to be tempted by you.

    Don't take his behavior personally. When someone of his age says, "it's too complicated," he's not giving you the brush off, he's telling you the truth as he sees it. My guess is that he's in a committed relationship. Probably one that is supposed to be monogamous. He might even be with a woman, which is why his attraction to men - and you - make the situation too complicated.

    Don't pursue him. Uncomplicated, hot sex is easy to find. There's no need to get twisted up with this guy.

    1. I did thought about what you mentioned here, but I think in the phase of exploration sometimes you can't think too much and I do that all the time. We'll just have to see where this goes...

  3. Just take the first encounter at face value. It was just some random fun in a toilet. Forget he's your co-worker and pretend you have never seen him again. What you don't want to do, even if it just for sex, is hound him or make it known you didn't appreciate him not replying because that implies you care.

    Time to move on the next.