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Tuesday, 3 November 2015

The Time Someone Caught Me In The Public Bathroom

This post was written last year, but never published. So here it is.

The weirdest day just happened to me here in this city. The sky was blue, the sun was up, and the weather in a city where four seasons could hit in a day was at its most beautiful. There I was seated on the grass patch by the Yarra River on Boathouse Drive in Alexandra Gardens, trying to drink up the incredible skyline when I started to notice a couple of hot guys that were hanging about. 

First there was the very cute Aussie jock in a white working shirt and smooth grey slacks. If I'm not hallucinating, I might have caught a few glances from him but I can't be sure. By the looks of it, he was on his lunch break with another girl, in which they both took off their shoes in order to have their sandwiches seated on the grass. A guy who loses his shoes for the beauty of grass? Oh my God. That's the guy I want to marry.

Then came an amazingly tanned and athletic Asian guy who after a run, has decided to park himself between me and the cute Aussie jock in order to sunbath. He took off his sweaty shirt and laid himself on the grass to soak up the sun for a good half an hour on both sides. I don't know if it's the sweat, the tanned skin, the peeking underwear, or his arousing sports attire, but it drove me insane.

On the park bench to my right, there was another cute Aussie jock in a turquoise working shirt and black slacks with sunglasses. His body frame and biceps were just outlining every inch of his tight-fitting professional attire. He was enjoying his sandwich too while listening to music via his headphones. 

Soon, the athletic Asian guy leaves. Only to be replaced by another cute guy who used the same spot to sunbath. The entire hot guy disrobing scene repeated itself and I stared longingly in a zoned-out trance. I could feel the inner vampire and werewolf awaken in thirst and hunger for fresh meat or rather, the specific meat I'm seeing. I wish I could jerk off right here but common decency and civility would effectively render me a psycho.

At this point, I start to drown internally out of feeling overwhelmed and a little invisible again. It's been a week since my last date with a Melburnian Artist at his home so I was desperately in need of some man-love. The time was already close to 4pm and I was also not getting any positive response from the gay apps. So I decided to distract my obsession by making my way to a usual café and do some writing.

Once I arrived at the coffee house, I decided that I was going to pay a visit to the public toilet to jerk off. The thing about jerking off in public restrooms is that I'm always suspicious or leery if there might be a hidden camera somewhere. It might seem like I'm exaggerating but with everything that is being shared on social media nowadays, I don't know what to think. And even if cameras are not the issue, I'm paranoid about the embarrassment that comes with being caught by real people.

"Jesus Christ M, isn't that a little paranoid? You're a free man. Why should you deny yourself the pleasure of a good release? And even if you do get caught, why should you be embarrassed about such primitive behaviour as a man?" goes my inner voice.

So in the toilet, there were three cubicles numbered 1 to 3, with 3 being the most ideal because it borders a wall, where else the other two does not. 

When I entered the restroom, Cubicle 3 was occupied so I settled temporarily for Cubicle 1 firstly to pee, and secondly to wait for Cubicle 3 to be vacated so that I can use it to indulge myself in a little jerk-off. While peeing, I heard somebody go into Cubicle 2. 

Within the next minute, the person in Cubicle 3 leaves and I conveniently walked out of Cubicle 1 and straight into Cubicle 3. I remember thinking at that point that something just didn't feel right. I felt so exposed and so vulnerable. Stop over-thinking you freak and just jerk-off. And so I did.

I was in the middle of a sexual fantasy, thinking about all the guys I saw by the riverbank. Threesome, foursome, kissing and how good the foreplay feels with these guys. The intimacy, the passion, the sweat on our skin making love. I was halfway through getting myself to reach my happy ending when all of a sudden, I was shocked to see the guy from Cubicle 2 peeping into mine from above. Ho my God! Mother fucking shit. What the fuck?!

As soon as he saw that I saw him, he retreated and I was just kicking myself on the inside. I felt so embarrassed for having a freak next door catch me. "Jesus! What are the chances of me just thinking about my fear of getting caught moments ago, only to have it happen right here in front? Fuck that was embarrassing. The guy saw me! How are we gonn-"

Then I caught sight of his shadow shaking vigorously from his cubicle. It took me a while to digest what was going on, but as soon as my mind registered that the man next door was jerking-off too, my embarrassment for the fact that he saw me dissipated instantly.

I stood there contemplating on how to leave when he stuck his hand out from the gap below and waved a signal. I ignored it because I was partially pissed at what he did, but then a part of me kept reminding itself of how invisible and unwanted I felt this afternoon by the river. So in a moment of weakness, I waved my hand below and walked out to knock on his cubicle door.  We were the only ones there. He unlocked it and the thirty forty something year old man in it was what the gay world would call a bear, and I definitely wasn't interested in this one who looks like he just sits around drinking beer and watching games.

I suppose I didn't have the heart to reject him on the spot so I went into the cubicle despite not feeling like it. As soon as I walked in, he requested to suck me off and so I allowed him. He blew me for a good minute, but in my head, I would much prefer to go back to Cubicle 3 and jerk-off on my own to the thoughts of the hot guys by the Yarra. I stopped him after a while and he looked up at me confused.

Then, he obviously expected me to return some kind of favour, and as much as I wasn't keen, I gave it a try out of courtesy. His dick was small. I went down on him for about 20 seconds before he stopped me because he wanted to move us to Cubicle 3. I said: "Nah, that's okay. I gotta go."

    "Yes", I responded firmly and he surprisingly didn't throw me anymore questions.

We waited till nobody else was in the toilet before I got out and he stayed in. I went to the sink to freshen up and rinsed my mouth thoroughly. I lost all urge to want to give myself a good release.

Back outside at the coffee house, I sat there thinking about what just happened. I couldn't believe I let myself walk into that cubicle even though I wasn't keen. What the hell was I thinking? Jesus, it must have been one hell of an invisible and pathetic moment.

On the other hand, I couldn't help but wonder too about the series of unexpected thrilling gay experiences that have been coming my way ever since I left home two and half months ago. Never in a million years would I thought an awkward restroom story like this will happen to me.

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