Deciphering The Sexual Animal In Me

I woke up this morning with a usual semi-hard on. And while thinking about which visual candidate I was going to use to sort myself out, I suddenly remembered the wet dream I had. I was making out with this motorcycle racer kind of guy in a bathroom after a journey. I can't remember the sequence but there was his motorcycle, his motorcycle suit and then his alpha male body. We somehow ended up fore-playing each other in the bathroom. 

I kissed and made out so hard with him while stealing side glances at the mirror that was reflecting our every act. Boy it was erotic. The process was long, rough and a built-up. Finally, I performed the most dedicated oral on him to show how much I love him. Then, I came so hard and good in the dream that I couldn't remember anything else except for messy thick semen and how mind-blowing everything felt.

"Wait, did I come in the dream or for real in my pants?", the thought floated into my head while I was freshening up in the real bathroom. I inspected my underwear and regretted that I was wearing one of my favourite pair of Calvin Klein(s). "Damn, I came a river for real in my pants too."

When I was in school, I used to envy my friends who had heterosexual wet dreams all the time because I've never had them, not even gay ones. But for the past year, ever since my admission into gay-hood I've been having powerful homosexual wet dreams if not frequent. I couldn't understand what brought this on, but yet I wouldn't rule out my analytical assessment.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been feeling extremely horny and sexed up. In the sense that, I just have this constant strong desire to want to make love all the time. To perform a sexual act with somebody or something. Now I really don't know if this is a result of me just being a normal hormonal guy or is this all part of the incarcerated virgin in me screaming to be set free! "Jeez. Calm down. What is this some kind of a phases-of-the-moon and inner-sexual-animal thing?"

And because of it, I spent so much time constantly talking to guys on dating sites all week. It's ridiculous! This weekend in particular, I was on the verge of losing my sanity and I just wanted to settle for anyone whom I could perform a sexual act with. Throughout the whole Friday, Saturday and Sunday, my inner sane self had retreated to a coma and you wouldn't believe the amount of straightforward messages I sent out. I was taken.

It is at moments like these that I start realising how many time wasters there are on cruising sites. Nobody told me how tiring and exhausting it is to chat a hot guy up. Man they're even more difficult to butter up than girls. Not to mention the occasional ridiculous excuses and lines they use. Dude, have some balls and face me!

Many of them would ask for a clear picture of my face and then disappear into silence once I give them what they want. Yeah yeah, I know it's the standard protocol but one doesn't need to be such a handsome ass hole. I found myself mentally cursing uncontrollably on the precipice of frustration whenever things don't work out. "Fuck you man! Fuck. You." 

"M, it's okay. Fuck them. You know you can't be that bad in term of looks and character, so just fuck them!", goes my defensive inner voice. The truthful fact that no guys agreed to a sex date this week meant that I had to rely on masturbation to stay sane. I can't even remember the ridiculous number of times I jerked off over the course of this all in order to avoid doing anything stupid, but yet I can't find the sensible logic behind why am I behaving so weird. I think its safe to say that my sexual frustration has never gotten this bad.

Okay. I'm going to try and calm down now as I let it all fall away once again with the passing of another week. For those who might have felt offended with my use of language, please forgive me and don't take the honest thoughts of a sexual animal to heart. After all, I'm still human.