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Friday, 22 April 2016

When A Sauna Cruise Chooses Another Over You

One of the guilty pleasures I look forward to after my work out at the gym is some man-on-man fun in the gent's locker room. I have often associate the art of cruising for sex to the act of fishing. A fisherman who goes to the watering hole with his fishing rod isn't guaranteed a fish every single time. Sometimes he goes home successfully with the catch of his choice and sometimes he goes home empty handed when the tide is not in his favour.

Recently, my statistical success rate of scoring a guy for some sauna fun is probably less than fifteen percent. These days I often end up jerking myself off alone in the cubicle nine out of ten cruising attempts. I don't know if it's my luck, or just unfavourable market times.

But what about those days when you literally are on your way to a successful catch, only to have that fish choose another candidate over you? Well, two of such incidents happened to me over the past month.


About two weeks ago, this Asian gym member who I've previously had some fun with came to park himself next to me in the dry sauna. It didn't take long before our toes were rubbing and caressing each other firmly to signal availability and interest. The plan was to wait for the other guys to leave and for us to be completely alone in the privacy of the sauna before we could take things further.

But as soon as the last person left and I was on the verge of fondling him with my hands, another guy comes in to use the sauna. This guy was a very hot guy. He was jacked and good-looking with a chiseled face and body. In fact, I've chatted with him before and am well aware that he is straight. I've even attempted to cruise him in the sauna, but never succeeded.

Almost immediately, I could see the switch in Asian guy's behaviour and his body language. Not only did he halted all signals, but withdrew his interest in me after seeing jacked guy come in. I rolled my eyes in disbelief and annoyance. "Oh for Christ sake, yes yes that's C and he's a very hot guy. And I'll even do you one extra bit by admitting that I am nothing with him around. But could you be any more subtle with the way you pulled out of the water?"

I know for a fact that hot guy is straight and unattainable, but seeing as how Asian guy is shamelessly drooling all over him, my guess is that he has never met or mingled with him before. So I decided to leave foolish to be foolish and left for a quick rinse.

After five minutes, I couldn't wait to come back into the sauna just to see how Asian guy is progressing. True enough, my hunch is verified when the two of them were shooting the breeze, but mostly with Asian guy asking the question and hot guy answering with friendly one liners.

"Let's play a game and guess who started the conversation?", the inner mean child thought sarcastically in my head. I rolled my eyes again and shot Asian guy a disdaining stare even though he couldn't see my face.

Shortly after I left to shower for real and change. Within the span of time that I was in the locker room, my ego was churning out legions of thoughts, ranging from 'how dare you', to displays of hurt and bitterness. Yes, that was my ego who feels the need to defend its bruised self. I'm only human. 

But once I allowed these emotions to run its course within the evening, they dissipate as quickly as it came charging, and I was finally able to rationalise with maturity that I hold no control over these things. Over what other people do, what other people choose to do, how they react, how they behave, how they change their minds. It is certainly none of my business and I should definitely not take these things personally to heart.


Another incident happened today. This nice looking brown meat was hanging around the shower corridors since I started my work out 90 minutes ago. "Damn. That guy is still hanging around in the sauna since I came! He must be really horny", I smiled satisfyingly in my head, knowing that I was going to indulge him in a little man-on-man fun.

After changing into my towel, I wasted no time and got to cruising. I shot him eye-contact and displayed my lose towel in the steam room. However, due to the many other chess pieces that were present on scene, brown meat and I always had intervals of seconds alone before somebody else walks in. We could hardly even fondle each other properly.

This whole coming and going does sometimes take its toll on a candidate who does not have the time nor patience to stay till the very end. But I was so confident that this guy who has been here for more than an hour, wasn't going to leave until he gets the happy ending with me. Well I was wrong.

Later on, another guy with a bald spot came in to use the steam room. He was taller, has more weight and probably in his forties. I didn't really care for his presence and just continued to play my game of chase with brown meat between the steam room and the dry sauna.

It was only when all of us were coincidentally squeezed into the dry sauna at one point that my animal instincts were literally barking to me, as loud and clear like it was spoken directly to my consciousness that there was "cruising energy" between bald spot guy and my brown meat. I swear I didn't witness anything and I have no idea how I knew, but I just knew.

"Aw come on. Are we being sensitive? That bald spot guy just came like 5 minutes ago and we were here first. They've never even displayed any cruising signs." Then I sat there thinking about my next move. If my instinctive observation is right, should I release him and leave him be?

I have a rule in my book that says if a candidate is greedy and is engaging some other guy while you're cruising me or already cruised me, he can forget about us having fun as I will let him go. I know this sound very egotistical but I really don't want to be taken as an option.

Then as I observed the three of us in the sauna while those thoughts ran through my mind, it hit me that if brown meat is really interested in bald spot guy, I am now their cockblocker. So I decided to leave voluntarily for a quick rinse in the showers to give them their space.

True enough when I came back out, I saw the two of them entering into the last shower cubicle together and I went back alone inside the sauna. Throughout the next few minutes, my mind just wouldn't leave the two guys alone. I was jealous about what happened and how I became a second choice.

I thought after all that "big internal speech" and self-reassurance talk I would actually be unaffected, but I was. I couldn't decide if it was jealousy, hurt, upset or sadness. Perhaps it was all four? I think it was my ego. It was bruised and bitter that someone chose someone else over us. For a taller man? A weightier man? A manlier man? I don't know.

"M, whoever other people choose or cruise is none of your business. People have the right to change their mind and they don't owe you anything. It's just business and you shouldn't take it personally", I hear my internal rationalisation dialogue go.

After giving myself some time to feel what I needed to feel, I willingly let go for real and listen to the words that was spoken to myself. But looking back in hindsight, I actually came to the realisation that had I not been so sexually hungry, and had I been in a more sated condition, it really wouldn't bother me at all that a sauna cruise chose another person. Like how they say, you are not you when you are hungry, upset or frustrated.

But I can't help but wonder, if I were to ever see the same candidates again from the two incident and I'm sure I will, should I deny them the possibility of fun again or should I drown the ego to get what I want, which is to score? What do you guys think? If you were in my shoes, will you give these guys who previously chose someone over you a chance at fun again? I'd like to hear your thoughts.


  1. I'd give them another chance. I am positive that the same thing happens to me on Grindr but it's just not as blatant because it's not right in front of my face. And with those guys, I've given them another chance. But I have to admit, sometimes when I finally get to play with them, I sometimes take out the frustrations by fucking them mercilessly and the ironic thing is that they kinda like it when that happens. Ha! I'm not above getting my ego bruised and trying to recover but at the same time I'm not looking for romance so sure, I'm gonna find some guys more attractive than others and I'm also not going to want to go with the same guy for a second round if there's another option...

    1. Hey Bruce, your thoughts make so much sense! I think I might just give them a chance again if there are no other options.

  2. I say always give someone a second chance. Everyone can have a unrealistic day or be too horny or something. Glad to see you are posting again.